MyWorld

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2006-06-21T21:52:00.000+08:00

so after exams i did these things:
ICy retreat - may 06 - an absolutely fabulous and enriching experience. Kudos to Tessie n her comm, RmAnton n God =)
Attachment @Guardian in changi airport - may-jun 06 - i'ld say tt i like working there, esp if i work as the pharmacist.
USP Production - may 06 - Dr.Ryan said tt it is e best production she's ever seen in sg. happy2x! thanks to all who came.
CSS FOC - jun 06 - it was fun, tho at the end, i realized i could have done more. and yes ben, i am envious of the two rainbows.
Emed's brown bagging - jun 06 - i never like language barriers.
...
upcoming ones:
urops/ism - jun-dec 06 - i am so slack, i still finding inspiration... ideas, please come soon.
ICy's recolection - august 06 - oh yeah baby, we've started planning it, anyone can join, as long as u speak indon n are/were nus students.
Pharmacy Rag - august 06 - excited to see our performance, it'ld be a blast.
School reopens in august 06 - I miss school.

post-exam

2006-05-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

Hello!!! =)
Sorry for keeping away for a while, well, probly not that a while.

Some updates: I'm still a struggling NUS student, urgh, so boring, lol. Yup, life is a bit a boring coz the past sem has been full with projects n assignments n labs. N now, I am still in the midst of exam, hmph. Actually my real papers were all done, but, i still have another ca (class test) on the 3rd May. Lol, why must this weirdest thing happen to me? to have a ca after exams....

Holiday is coming soon. very very soon i can really smell it. Those of u celebrating your free life post exams, congrats! =). On the other hand, those who are working, hehe, i'm so thankful tt i'm not working yet, man, 14 days holiday per year, how can fusta remain sane if put into that situation?! Yup, those working, well done! Keep yourself happy n well k, you are living well, dun worry, God is taking care of you as well =)

So, what's my plan for holiday? eat till i grow a bigger tummy? probly, yeah, if i can eat the delicious food which i craved for nowadays, if only my ortho becomes a bit smarter and release me from the agony of bearing the toothache due to my braces. Friends n family are asking me to change to their orthos instead, but i dun think so. thanks for the kind concern. anw, probly it's only me and my low pain treshold. The toothache is terrible. If one day i scolded you for no strong reason, blame it on my toothache. Hrm, am so thankful tt i am a female. female = moody, nobody should blame us for being a bit irritating at times =)

Anybody with any ideas about a UROPs in pharmacy? Interesting subjects please. Or any research/independent study topic? Probably i should ask in the class email instead, not may pharmacy students read this site. But, i believe in the power of diverse backgrounds, it means, i believe that any one of you can help me find the perfect project to embark on this july. Did i say july?? waaa, so soon...

Those who talk/gossip, i still dun like you. i'll try to 'love' you. Because I want to love everybody, that's the greatest commandment by Jesus. Please make this task easier by gossiping less =P. i'm so glad that one does not need to like, in order to love. So, try to love somebody you hate today. Help him, be gentle to him. U don't have to smile to him, smile genuinely only to those whom you really loved to meet, so much so that your smile forms automatically. I want to be able to smile to everybody. Yup2, you can do it as well =)

Have a good day! =D

Friend or foe?

2006-02-26T21:29:00.000+08:00

If she feels that he is taking advantage of her, should she leave him?
He forget about her whenever he doesn't need her.
She doesn't mind tho, since, she doesn't want to be involved more in his complicated life.
Yeah, pretty fun to be with.
She's being herself, a loving n nice person, to all those who needs her.
But, sometimes, life is difficult and she has no strength to continue being herself.
He is a burden. Like a fish bone that is stuck in her throat and causes irritation at times.
She is a nice girl. She doesn't leave nobody alone.

-"well done" to all those who know how to deal with opportunistic n difficult people.

faith

2006-02-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

And so he said: i went church regularly last time, since my ex-gf wanted me to.
she said: my bf brings me to his church, i dunno leh, i'm ok with anything actually.
he said: i go to my gf's church coz need to know her friends.
she said: my hubby not of the same religion, so, we dun go church anymore.
he said: i need it to get married in church, my christian gf dun want to convert.
.
.
.

So many people have blind faith. Am I included as one who has blind faith? After all, I am lucky enough that I choose to be a catholic, in a catholic family. I am lucky enough to be exposed to many religions since young, and experience God in one of them. In my family, we enjoy great support from each other. In school and outside, I enjoy great support from friends of the same religion. So, am I just sticking to Catholicsm because it is easy and convenient for me to be a catholic?

No, it is hard. hard. hard.
But, it is all made possible by the love of God.

May we all see and experience God through all little things in our lives. Regardless of religions. May we worship and praise God because we really desire God. Not because our bf/gf is doing that or what not. God is of the utmost importance. How can He not be? He is our Creator (and Saviour).

NOC or not?

2006-01-16T20:59:00.000+08:00

Should I try for NOC? My only reason of going is that it is a super good chance of trying n learning something entirely different. But, nobody is supportive of me going NOC, well, other than my parents. In fact, they are the only ones who make me more receptive towards the idea of NOC. And now that i like the idea, nobody seems to be convinced that it is wise of me to spend a year in US, interning for a company which i have never heard before.
A secret is that, well, I believe my parents know me best. A similar case happened 2 years ago. I wasn't receptive towards USP as well. I tore the phamplets in front of everybody when the USP people came to VJC in my JC yr 2 to promote e program. The only reason that I sent the application form is because my parents kept bothering me to apply, coz they see that the program is good.
Well, probly they are right in the case of NOC as well. So, should i apply for NOC?
My coordinator thinks that I shouldn't. I think he almost faint when I tell him that I am serious abt NOC. Yeah, I've been a very demanding student. Haiz.

Fus lagih stress. keep away please. I dun like fake friends. I hate worms who crawl back when they are in need only.
I want to watch geisha...

On holiday

2005-11-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

I'm loving it (sing acc to McD tune)

Thinking hard about what I want.
Avoiding outings.
-doesn't sound fun, this is not right...

Going back indo on 6th Dec.
Getting into the mood of Christmas (sing Xmas songs loud n clear anywhere).
Enjoying eating, playing n talking with dear friends.
-I'm loving it =D

On sem 3 modules

2005-11-29T22:24:00.000+08:00

Let me pass, just let me pass the exams...

Yesh, this sem, I was very 'out of tune'.
Spent most of my time this sem: thinking, playing, laughing, loving, meeting, working, anything but studying statistics or pharm laws.

Dosage Form Design
Learn how to make drugs (in their many dosage forms) in theory and in practical. Veryyyy high expectations. We must memorise many details about many chemicals, bcoz it's much more efficient and safer to have all the info at our finger tips (when we work as pharmacist).

Pharmacy Laws
One of the 2 lecturers didn't pass pharmacy law exams more than 1 time (forgot how many). This module makes me so much more aware abt laws in singapore and abt pharmacy laws (of course lar ya). But, this is not necessary to be a module. All everybody does is mug and memorise e laws. The laws are real laws, with all e linguistic nuances, long sentences, unending references, 500 pages more of it, double-side, small fonts, single line spacing. Okay... the bottom line is: an ultimate hassle.

Pharmacostats
I dun like, i dun like. All we do is memorise the statistical tests, the conditions to which they apply, the limitations etc. And, no reasoning of any sorts. When I ask e lecturer, all he said only: it's like that (and that sorts of 'i cannot explain either'). So yeah, this module is a hassle as well. Anybody can just enter the data in any stats program, and wait for e program to churn out the mean, the probability, the variance etc.
The exam is hilarious. I cannot answer most. I didn't even read finish the lecture notes, or read up all the necessary stats tests.

How Technology Work
How stuffs work website and internet is my most useful companion for this module. Learnt a lot deal more abt electricity and basically just how tech works. But i'm still amazed by my dad. He is a real electrician cum repairman. He fixed everything @ home, from water pump to TV to air con etc, and he didn't read internet that often, well, natural talent. I love playing with stuffs also, opening up, messing e wiring, fixing e faults, seeing the stuffs working properly again, it's such a JOY.

Emerging Global Politics
Useful module. I learnt a lot of history, philosophy and politics. Scary in a sense, coz I'm so new to all these (no prior exposure, other than own's idle thoughts).
I did 'Religi0n in Gl0bal p0litics' as my final research paper. Religious values are becoming more strongly expressed in secularized world. Agree? concur...

Islam and the Contemp0rary Muslim S0ciety
Very interesting. I likeee... It makes me so much more aware on the importance of having faith and of being open to anything. I did a study on Muhammadiyah n Nahdlatul Ulama for final paper.

Tired

2005-11-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

Tired.
Too much exercise in a day.
My body demands it, not my brain.

I concentrated too hard.
Finished mugging poison's act in 3 hours.

Now, my brain just want to sleep.
But, 2 essays due tomorrow.

And i see so many notations:
redo, what?, cannot, not here, insert
in my drafts.

One is weighted 60%, the other one 30%.
Very tempted to ignore my effort of revamping e essay again.
At most, I'll get one grade lower if I hand in the current drafts.

Okay, back to work.

Another smile for you
=)

start mugging again

2005-11-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

Singap0re-Malay4n Collection at central library is such a niceeee place to research or study or mug or do essay or take a nap...
i like e place
wonder how come i always went to level 3 before

anw, happy studying everybody!
exams are not everything, but, they r important, so, concentrate hor! :D

boshan ah di pgp room... lonely
haahaa
only 3 out of 15 girls in my cluster are around... hrm, ya, most checked out already, so, will only see them next yr.

i wonder how will e 10 new halls be like
hope that they won't turn out like pgp,
pgp is worse than any other hostels i've been to.
no human interaction unless with those friends u've made elsewhere.

another smile for you :)

A-, A-, A-

2005-11-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

I got three A- for 2 response papers and a group project in my Em3rging Gl0bal P0litics class.
I feel funny.
The papers are not that good.
Conspiracy.
I think he gave everybody A- for everything this sem.
I think he'll give everybody A- for our final grade as well.
=D
Hope that I'll get more profs like him for my future modules then.
huehe...

...

2005-11-09T11:48:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna do the boldest thing that a fusta will ever do.
Not doing this on impulse. I shall neither regret nor be proud of doing this.

Home sweeet home

2005-11-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

Pa n Ma, sister n brothers, dogs, good food, many fruits, air con, comfy sofas n beds, piano, big area to run and dance around, kitchen and the exciting cooking, laughters n joy, teasing n loving. perfect companions.

I want home... pulangkan aku juga ke rumah ibuku...
Parah, ini baru satu malam di PGP udah gak betah, pengen balik Muara Karang or ke Pasir Ris lagi. PaMa baru pulang indo tadi pagi, huhuhu... homesick2...

No lar, I'm not homesick, just making up a valid reason to justify my inertia to start writing essay tonight. I was so productive this afternoon, till I reach my PGP room, and... nothing happened, no work was done. Oh yeah, i did some work, i went to laundry my clothes, n it took me 4 hours to complete, with 4 to and fro trips to B1 level. Hrm, hopefully the laundry machines are working properly again soon.

6 years Niners

2005-11-06T09:55:00.000+08:00

We rockz! =D

Fish n Co, 5th Nov 2005. (c)Melia 2005

5th Nov 1999 -> when most of us 1st met.

Eh, entry yg dibawah ttg jam karet kita, huehehe, bukan marah, cuman amazed ajah. =P

Anw, I love each one of you! erm, ya, i think so...

We had fun exchanging gossips yesterday rite? Ivan and his blunt comments on many of us. Udo and his definition of happening. Michael with his blurness tho' he is the one with the highest CAP. Melia with her witty remarks and sexy body (dun tabok fus). Fanni with her struggle to finish her meal. Kresna and his helpfulness to finish Fanni's meal but also struggled with the bony and humongous fish. Sharon and Anes who share meal and an ice cream (nyesel, sit so far away, didn't got a chance to really talk =S)
Yg gak ikut 6th anniversary kita, too bad baby, u missed the laughters.

Yup, we rockz!

Boo!

2005-11-05T23:15:00.000+08:00

A very frank friend of mine scolded me on friday. He said I'm not making enough effort to be a good to God. Whatever that means...
Anyways, he asked and challenged me on my lack of ability to 'hear' God. to know what's important. to be brave and accept what God wants of me.
Apparently, I love God more than anything else, and it breaks my heart that I am not expressing my love.
I want to try.

---

Mum n Dad are in SG till tuesday. I am so haappyyy =D

---

School work is not my cup of tea now. How can everybody be so caught up in preparing for exams? Relax, we got 1 week break.
Haven't started writing on my last essay this sem. A 6000 words on Nahdlatul Ulama and Muhammadiyah, due on the 11th now.
Finished writing my last Global Politics paper in 2 days. I am such an expert in crapping.

---

Friends anyhow cancel meetings. I think, the closer we are, the easier we break promises and assume that it won't hurt the other party.
Niners B'day party: supposed to start at 6.30pm, but, e one who stays 1.5hr away arrived 1st, and e rest, come gradually till ard 7.30pm. I don't like. No courtesy of even telling in advance, at least we could rearranged.

---

Family problems abound. God will make things possible.

Food poisoning is scary

2005-10-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

One of my most exciting morning.
Woke up at ard 8am, before my alarm rang, due to hunger pangs (or so I think). Geez... I just ate a big bowl of my fav BanMien as supper at 10pm the night before.

Anyways, as usual, I went to shower 1st before I sit properly and eat my yummy breakfast of any nestle cereals plus HL milk. Oh before I bathe, I have a habit of urinating and shiting 1st. So, i happily plopped myself unto the toilet seat, then I realizes something was different with my hunger pangs, i felt EXTREMELY hungry, or u can say, erm, maybe gastric (dunno how gastric feels actually).And I realize that my shits are not as nice as usual, and degrading by batch (ie, those that I released later are more yucky). And thus I was trapped in the toilet for ard 30 min, because I constantly released more (are u digusted liao?).
And inside, haahaa... never before have I jumped around, did leg raises and stomped my feet when I was doing my big business. The pain was so bad that I got impatient with my body, and thus those funny actions of relieving the pain.
By the time I got bored inside, I was white like ghost and perspiring like I just ran 4km. So, I went out. Into my room again, to drink some water, coz water is the ultimate medicine for any illness.
But, when I took a few sips, oh my, i vomitted like nuts! couldn't contain e vomit inside my mouth coz the volume was too big. So, some spilt along the corridor (unlucky neighbours, sorry! =P).
So, I stayed in the toilet for a few mins again, puking and puking, slimy green and orange stuff which I got no idea where it came from.
By this time, almost all my neighbours aka clustermates are in the state of panick, coz I was very pale and kept vomitting. None has gastric pills, so nothing comes into my rescue, but I was so thankful that they are already awake, at least got people taking care of the already very confused fusta.
And after I calmed down, I took a shower. In between the shower, I ran again to toilet to release my bowel, which had become very fluid.
After shower and resting for a while, I tried eating my cereals, coz we thought empty stomach must be filled. But, even before I swallowed, i vomitted again. And this time it was worse, I wetted the whole corridor. gosh...
Yes, so i resigned into no food no drink until I see doctor and get diagnosed.
But, even when I rested, I felt the urge to shit and thus so I went to shit, again and again. It was tiring. Try puking and shitting and so on for 2 hours non-stop, 1st thing in e morning, u'll get the idea of how tiring it was. And how scary it was.

So, the diagnosis by doctor is food poisoning. Geez, modern medicine are fantastic. I felt so much better after taking them.

And, after seeing doctor, I went to my Islam class, to submit paper which are due at 12pm, hardcopy. So paisehhh, my module-mates said: fusta, u look like u just woke up. Yeah baby, dun say it unto my face can? not when I already felt so humiliated by just going around YIH and USP block in my home clothes.

I missed global politic class again! aaaa... despite how much I bickered abt how useless e discussions are (coz some people with strong views just refuse to cooperate and let us have good discussions), I still love the class.

I feel so much better now, though still constantly shitting =P. Not bad lar, at least can tahan e urge. I tahan the urge from 2-9pm leh, when I helped out the Special Project team in their preparation for today's talk on Bioethics by a distinguished speaker (Dr.I.S). Yes, in the end, I still went to the talk, coz the original MC called and asked me to replace her. O.O Not when I look as messy as today. But, yeah, all went ok, I crapped well, I think, like usual. LOL.
Oh I missed e 2nd part tho' coz I felt like fainting inside e lecture room, despite the very interesting talk by Dr.I.S. Huuhuu.

Oh no, it's already past midnight again. When can I slept early. I am being such a bad host for my poor body.
Just finish settling some things with my grp mates. Our stats lecturer anyhow change his mind yesterday. We originally need to present our paper next week, and yesterday, yeah, it's YESTERDAY, an email was sent to all of us, and it states our group number as the group presenting tmr. If I am the dean, I will pecat all these people who anyhow change timeline and add to the pressure that students feel.

Blah, good night world. =)

Love?

2005-10-22T23:00:00.000+08:00

Love is a decision before it becomes a feeling. Is this true? but what if i cannot make up my mind, lest to make the correct decision?

Just watched Corpse Bride (after missing it for 2 weekends).
Johny didn't shine as Victor, somehow, Victor is just too silly and common, like nobita in doraemon. Ever so clumsy and do not have a strong will.
Why would Victoria fall in love with him? Why would Emily fall in love with him?
Their wrong decisions seem to be correct after all. They decide whom to love and not what to do.

Oh well, it's a cartoon after all. Tim burton's one some more. It's supposed to boil down to a very good philosophy of life, like in his movie: big fish. Maybe if I sleep over Corpse Bride tonight, tomorrow I'll be enlightened as to what the movie is really talking about life. Somebody knows what is this film talking abt us?

Alright, I lied. period. I really lied. I am not THAT happy. Yes, I am very happy that there were 10 of us who went together. All e sweet boys n girls from beloved CSS-ICy who do not mind watching the cartoon despite Flightplan showing - coz I WANT to watch Corpse Bride. Maria, Shera, Yovita, Jonas, Benny, Eric, Mario, Michael, Johannes, thank youuu yah. Oh, and for waiting for me to finish e bland looking but deadly hot fish noodle tom yam (@thai express).

I am not THAT happy because: I'm still battling with myself. I got lotsa things in my head. All the arguments and feelings trapped and known between God and me only. I don't even think that I understand myself fully, well, who ever does, right?

Maybe I must become extrovert and just say what I want to say. But, it's difficult, I don't want my words to have negative impacts. When I tell them, then, they'll blame themselves and be sad. Why do I want a sad world? I want a happier world. I shall remain an introvert and swallow all my thoughts.

Ah, btw, it feels so good to write so many essays in these few days.

Alrights, I'll get back to work. 5 x 600-700 words essays due on monday. 25%(of final grade) presentation on tuesday. 15%(of final grade) report on friday. I love uni life. Exciting eh? Crap all e way, and still, well-known professors examine our crapping carefully and give formative advice. I like crapping assignments. =P

being 20-something

2005-10-15T23:54:00.000+08:00

Being 20-something...

Being Twenty-something - they call it the "Quarter-
life Crisis. It is when you stop going along with the
crowd and start realising that there are many
things about yourself that you didn't know and may
not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you
will be in a year or two, but then get scared
because you barely know where you are now.

You start realising that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so
close to aren't exactly the greatest people you
have ever met, and the people you have lost touch
with are some of themost important ones.

What you don't recognise is that they are realising
that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or
insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job ... and it is not even close to
what you thought you would be doing, or maybe
you are looking for a job and realizing that you are
going to have to start at the bottom and that
scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more
than usual because suddenly you realise that you
have certain boundaries in your life and are
constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next,
secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force
of your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you
try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon
realise that the past is drifting further and further
away, and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how
someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough that you want to get to
know better. Or maybe you love someone but love
someone else too and cannot figure out why you
are doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to
look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot
don't seem as fun.

You go through the same emotions and questions
over and over, and talk with your friends about the
same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and
making a life for yourself... and while winning the
race would be great, right now you'd just like to be
a contender! What you may not realise is that
everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our
best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard
as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Pass this to your twenty-something friends...
maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't
alone in their state of confusion...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath
away." It's really amazing when two strangers
become the best of friends, but it is really sad
when the best of friends become two strangers.

-by someone

A singing dog?

2005-10-12T16:07:00.000+08:00

Yes. It's marvelous. My dog is soooo smart. He sings! buahahaa...
I think he got natural talent. ^^
When he's still ard 4mths old, he already like to go nearer to e piano whenever somebody played e piano (usually my sis n bro, i only play when nobody is ard -which is very rare- coz my piano skill sucks). NOW... ladies n gentelmen, Tom2y (e chihuahua) not only goes nearer to e piano, he sits gracefully and sings along. Yes! he sings! buahaha... usually when e piano is softer, his voice (howling) becomes louder.

dispensing. miss u.

2005-10-12T16:05:00.000+08:00

I'm having withdrawal symptoms. No, not from alcohol, haven't been drinking for a loooong time. But from......

Dispensing!
OMG, I really enjoyed dispensing practicals. The 3hr session every wednesday of making drugs from scratch. (yes, from scratch, pharmacist not only take e tablets n give it to patients ^^ ). The disgustiing oils, powders, poisons, waxes (wool fat! e stickiest and smelliest thing i've ever handled and endured) strict teachers (oh, my table is situated RIGHT in front of e teachers' table, yeh baby, supervised by not less than 3 teachers at any one time since yr1, sometimes up to 6 teachers, if all are slacking and not going ard helping students, who can be luckier than me? no sarcsm here, really, they know what i'm doing everytime, so, i'm always showered with advice. am grateful for that.). Let's see, what else will i miss? Oh, e printing of labels (i love playing with the printers, sometimes print fake labels to give friends - love potion, viagra tm pills, i cannot remember liao. did this mostly in yr1 sem 2), The triturating (mixing) of oil n water phase using glass slabs or mortars, buahaha, very tiring and very ungraceful (like koolee). The brain puzzles on how to modify e standard formulation to accomodate changes in ingredients required. The simple pleasure of getting back the 3 drugs that we make each week and seeing the grade of A+/A for each (What other module in NUS can be so generous?). Too bad practicals' grade only contribute ~5% of the final grade.

Ah, no more dispensing labs till year 4. huhuhu

Just came back from dispensing test. Hihihi... I'm amused... never fail to produce a primary emulsion, but, today, cannot form! Lucky i still have enough time to repeat. I was v.shock, geez, why things must go wrong during test? oh, it's e arachis oil, expired already, so, properties changed liao.
And my suppositories (things we insert into rectum or vagina) got holes! aaaaa... my suppositories always turn out nice and yeah baby, simply nice, like a bullet. (buahaha, i think i'm well known for my love towards making and admring suppositories), but yeah, 2 turned out with small holes, during test! #!!*$!. Lucky the holes can be filled and masked into perfection.

Talking abt hole and fillings... my teeth got 3 new cavities! just in 6 months! aaa... stupid braces. I tot I've cleaned enough everyday, am wrong. Will brush my teeth more, with a koolee's strength.

fat foot

2005-10-11T20:29:00.000+08:00

Tralala... it's very funny. But, I'm the only one who finds my swollen right foot funny. U all think it's scary. Bleh, I still think it's cute. ^^ Like elephant's foot, or a sized-up baby foot. In short, a fat foot.

Ya lah, dunno why my right foot experience edema. Nvm, shall still be thankful. At least, if I got kidney, liver or heart failure in e future, I won't be freaked out with my swollen feet (these patients usu have swollen feet).
No, dun scare me, I'm not having those now. Race me marathon, I'll still win you even with one foot fat. LOL.

dance

2005-10-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I watched a dance production by NU5 D4NC3 Ensemble.

What can I say, not up to expectation. I am used to watching professional dance groups already I think, those with good choreography and talented dancers who have rehearsed well.

In the production yesterday: firstly, it started 30 mins late. All the dance pieces use 'rag'gy kind of costumes (except one piece where they use white gown, like a bridemaid's). Many many floor work, which really looks repetitive after we keep seeing them consecutively in the 1.30mins performance. The dancers open their legs way too often (up to the point that a male audience behind me complain abt it. Well, if guys complain abt something they'ld love to see, I think u've overdone it). The dances ended in a dying scene, where everybody just fall down (well, got one dance where they 'die' while standing).

But, the worst thing is... they DUN rehearse enough. Oh man, it's actually hilarious to see that one or two dancers doing their own thing and looked shocked when they realized their mistakes. How distracting is that? And, they didn't even move together in a flow. Even simple moves like moving in, some bend their legs, some walk like robots, some walk like brides, all in e midst of a dance piece. How distracting is that? And the male dancers, some dunno how to dance lor, LOL. oh no, I'm being mean. But, i really admire their guts to perform despite of their inexperience (i'm assuming tt some of them r new dancers). Oh, another thing is: there is one scene where the dancers appear in underwears, the dance itself is unique and nicely choreograph, BUT, the lumps of fat from most of the dancers proved to be too distracting after some time.

Well, do I sound mean? I don't intend to. I hope the comments above would be constructive comments for all dance groups to take note of.

Okay lar, give them some credits for at least putting up a decent performance, especially considering that all the dance pieces are made by NUS students (and some alumni).
Virgenia dance in 3 pieces. She's fabulous, yup, one of the dancers who can dance as they exhibit e emotions required by the piece.

Mel n me agree on a point yesterday, dancers are more emotional. When we dance, and we become dancers for a while, we become more emotional than our old-self. This is because we are displaying emotions many folds and throughout our body as we dance, and thus become a habit brought into real life. Agree?

NGO workers

2005-10-10T21:10:00.000+08:00

Oh lebih kejam daripada pembunuhan... hihi hyperbolic

Today I was enlightened into a fact. An interesting fact about NGO workers (maybe in general). They are a bunch of proud people.

When they go to the field, esp in 'third world' countries, like my beloved Indonesia, they will turn to be proud people.

They have their own internal code of conduct. This tells them how to behave with the natives/those whom they help. Firstly, the natives are inferior to them, so, they must always appear superior and stern towards the natives. Secondly, the natives are not educated, thus there can be no reasoning done with them, just tell them what to do, and that's all. Thirdly, eh, I cannot remember.

Ya, that's the gist lar. So sad, I am looked down by the NGO workers. Hiks2... I, together with the rest in 3rd world countries are marginalized. Dun u think NGO workers usually appear very selfless? and therefore, very nice, that they won't even think of looking down on others?

But, I am still really thankful that the world has seen so many NGOssss that help marginalized people all over the world to fight against human rights' violation etc.

after 12 hrs of chills

2005-10-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

Polymyalgia syndromes
Features:
1.Muscle pain without weakness: Pain may interfere with effort
2.Pain: Present at rest; ± Increased with movement
3.Muscle tenderness: Diffuse or Multifocal
4.No pathologic changes in muscle

Chronic Fatique
Minor symptom criteria
Fever or chills: Mild
Sore throat
Lymph node pain - Cervical or axillary
Muscle discomfort or myalgia
Muscle weakness - Unexplained; Generalized
Fatigue: Generalized - After previously tolerated levels of exercise - Prolonged: > 24 hours
Headaches: New; Generalized
Arthralgias: Migratory; Non-inflammatory
Neuropsychiatric
-Visual: Photophobia; Transient scotoma
-Behavior: Forgetfulness; Irritablilty; Depression; Confusion
Sleep disturbance: Hyper- or Insomnia
Onset: Acute or subacute

Sounds familiar? That's me now. Mum is right after all, I am sick, very sick. But, e doctors said: dun worry, this is very common amongst NUS students. LOL. How come I never see anyone with the same complaints yet? Probably I am the only whiny girl around. LOL.
No lar, I am actually very brave and always try to be strong. Hiatzzz... (karate move) fusta will be fine.

on being a friend

2005-10-06T20:08:00.000+08:00

I am not a good friend. I am sorry that I am so selfish and caught up in whatever nonsense I entangled myself into lately.

The fact is, for e past few months, every now and then, I'ld be shocked to hear some disturbing news. Not only from sd/smp frens + sec school/jc frens but also, those in pharmacy/usp/icy (those that i interact with daily). I am now truly aware that I am not a good friend. I had chosen to be happy and independent by distancing myself from others. Yes, I was distancing myself, if u haven't noticed it yet. I used to be very involved emotionally that it pains me greatly to see friends in problem. Now. I regret my decision a lOt. This is not fusta. Even when I casp my hands around my ears and pretend not to know e problems (but only pray to God that he/she be consoled), I am never really detached from their emotions.

I shall be a better friend.

4th Oct - ICy's Bday =)

2005-10-04T18:35:00.000+08:00

Today is such a happy dayyy =)

This is my 2nd family B'day. CSS-ICy, Catholic Students' Society - Indonesian Catholic Community. Our 3rd Bday. We rockz! Jesus rulez!
I'm so grateful that I am brought by God into this loving family. Hope that in e future, I will remember ICy and still be close to the future generation of our community. Aiyoh, what am i talking? I am still a year 2, fusta, stop being so impatient to graduate. =P

I want to graduate ASAP. I want to breath the free air, walk on the moon, talk to 1000k audiences, swim in the ocean with dolphins, fly in the air-baloon, et ceteraaa. But, I am still a student. POUTsss.

Oh, just a recap of my exciting monday morning yesterday: I had a group presentation on a module called 3m3rging gl0b4l p0lit1cs. We present the positionality of Bangladeshi workers in Singapore in relation to SG, IR, and global politics.

My groupmates are a bunch of crazy and fun people. LOL, will miss them tremendously, esp our incoherent replies/jokes and our jenga/volleyball/destroy everything in USP room session and our dearest Crystal who always say: i'll do this n that.

Anw, a classmate very out of point lar, during our QnA, he suddenly say: "sorry, but i dun see where this discussion is heading, since u keep talking about $$$". Well, ya, the first 5 questions from the floor is about $ policy, mind u: from e floor, not from us-e presenters. Well, we cannot say, enough abt $, let's talk abt something else, rite? But we were accused of being narrow-minded and marginalized e workers further - that we view them merely as money making n consuming commodities.

Harlows.... say that to e floor lar, and u oso participated in contributing to e unending discussion abt $. Hmph, annoyed. My group did a fabulous job of researching lor, and e $ part, only comes under policy adopted by SG govt, which take abt 5mins from our 40min ppt. Hmph, still annoyed, luckily our instructor realizes that it was the intention of e floor to discuss $, and that our group's argument is more balanced than what we were accused of.

Hmph2, okay, done with hmph2ing like a horse. I'm back to be a fusta now.

Let's talk abt happy things again =)

My stats lecturer forgot that today is the test day! LOL... At 1st, I felt cheated. (ya lar, I forced myself to read e notes after finishing my essay 4am this morning. A futile attempt of course, sleepiness are further increased by the thiiiick stack of notes full of incoherent statistical tests. but, i woke up at 8am to study be4 e test, at 10am, and in e end, no test. Aaaa, cheat me, I should've slept more or attended e morning lect-which i skipped to prepare for e test) But, actually, I am quite okay also lar, thank God that I finally read e stats notes, tho only ard 10% of what is supposed to be tested today. Shall never forgot e surprised look in my friend's face when she saw how 'clean' my notes are. This shall be my motivation to STUDY statistics -> fusta promised not to be complacent.

This week my mum is acting very funny, she keep saying that I have run out of $ in my bank account. And, she says that I am super stressed and often fall sick, never eat properly, etc. LOL. I've grown tired of debating that in fact, e opposite is true. I guess she miss me ^^. I miss home too TT.

Fus is sleepy, I am looking forward to a nice sleep tmr. Now, need to mug my pharmacy laws to prepare for pharmacy dispensing test tmr morning. I wonder whether I am doing bad to my body by not sleeping, I feel okay leh, ya, a bit tired, but brain still working properly.

Happy Tuesday!

2005-09-27T19:30:00.000+08:00

How a?! my mid-term result is so lowwww... down2. even e lecturer is shock to see me did so badly, i mean, no science student can logically do what i did in that test. Alert2! My CAP is in a deep threat. Nvm, I shall work harder, the term is not over yet. Yeyyy! U all must work hard also yar! 2 big and exciting research paper will go full steam starting from Oct (this, i promise myself). Excited =)
Trailer: NU and Muhammadiyah -> for my Islam term paper.

Presentation: How come everybody laughs whenever I present? I did use some jokes in my presentations, but I don't like it when people laughs like 50% of the time when I talk in front. Is my face like a joker's?

Dispensing tests: Kiasu pharmacy dept of my beloved pharmacy dept. How can they force us to have 2 dispensing tests?! It equals to preparing 6 preparations (medications) that we have prepared similarly before. I know it's hard and we need to practice, but then, ugh, another 6 hours to be endured before i can say 'see u next sem' to e lab.

Love: I shall resist having a bgr feeling to any nyebelin guy! Sebel, i shall pretend not to have this feeling also lor, bweek. Life is already very sweet from God's love. =)

Social life: Pusing nih, kebanyakan, niat hati mau milih2 temen. Evil fusta. huehe... Udah dilaksanakan, evil fusta at work. Sorry lar, how to change? I want to be lessssss selfish.

Breakdown # 2 in 2005

2005-09-09T02:32:00.000+08:00

I am bored... Bored from all the projects (academic and non), same conversations, same worries, same busy days, day after day.

I am choked by the emotions. Dun add those to me, I need no more bad emotions.

I need excitements, love and warmth, things that I can journey together with you.

No pretense please, I actually have a very low treshold of being hurt by the intentions of fake people.

I wish the day is longer

2005-09-04T19:30:00.000+08:00

Thanks God for the wonderful sleep You've granted me last night.

Last week was a hectic week. bleh...

Mon: school 10-5pm. Dosage form research+ type n how tech work tutorial till 3am
Tues: school 8-6pm. salsa till 10pm. lab report till 3am
Wed: school 9-12pm. Dosage form report draft & essay #1 for global politic brainstorming & 26 pages reading for global politic discussion + some response & reading on islam. till 3am
thurs: school: 8-12pm. brainstorm global politic essay & dinner till 9pm. exco meeting 9pm-2.30am
fri: type global politic essay 3am-7am. school 8am-12pm (biostats test - i got 80% lor...=P). type n send n print global politic essay 2-5pm. friday mass n dinner n cg 6pm-11pm. exco meeting 11pm-2am
sat: seminar 9-5pm. slacking till 7pm. field trip (arabian night) 8-11pm. dosage form 'think' till 1am
sun: missed e seminar (9-1pm), so i continued my sleep till 11am. went church then meeting till 4pm. dosage form 'editing' n laundry n curhat session till 8pm. the day shall continue later...

Is it because I'm still young and heck care or what? I, like u reading this, need ard 7hrs of sleep every night. Remember... Let's cut down our activities. I want my social life back.

Next week i think more exciting leh...
mon: EOGM.
tues: bash meeting (+ maybe salsa)
wed: CG. HTW idea proporsal
thurs: - (OMG! NOTHING!)
fri: dosage form report due. bash @ chinablack

Life is sweet ^^
Ganbatte

RAG '05

2005-08-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

USP RAG 2005. New friendships are developed... USC Raggers, we rock!

I've been performing for many times, but this one, woohoo, pleasantly very different.

We are all practically non-dancers, but of course, got a super talented latin dance instructor and dancer (yanqing is younger than me! gosh), got a super elastic figure skater coach (e blond angel =P), and a few of us who do some dance.

Anw, RAG is a function by NUSSU to express NUS appreciation to e public who has donated a lot of $$$ in the preceding FLAG day. This year, I think NUS collected $300k. So, in RAG, faculty clubs and halls put up performance to e public. AND, we compete to come up with e nicest dance and backdrop/float.

Practically all those involved in rag had been practising their dance and building their floats 3 months before e rag day (6august). All groups, but Not USC.

We are so siao-ly slack. Huahahaha... only practice e dance 2 weeks before rag day, and we never had full attendance for the practice untill the midnight before rag day. LOL. Practices are fun.

Here are the photos

Rag day. ard 12pm. Sun scorching. Wet grass. Our first pose. Class scene. Can spot me? The white/silver girl at the left corner.

With the magnificent backdrop which is so naughty and cannot 'stand' still.

Going into a circle... shake shake shake... hips almost fell down.

U want me? Yes you do...

Fly fly...

The excrutiating 5 mins of prejudging. We must hold this pose for 5 mins under a super hot sun!

Still for prejudging, the black couple posing on the table are Yanqing (main dancer and coreographer) and Yuanshuo (chief engineer and a very good dancer).

Okay, now, the photos during our practises... We practise everywhere, in chatterbox, in AS7, in e forum, on grass in a football field, in Xenbar, in Seminar Room 3, erm, yup, that's all.

In forum. Cute ya? Praying to our God. Coz exam stress...

In Xenbar. We owe this place a lot. Thanks for letting us dance there.

In AS7. That's 'hubby' holding my hand...

In SR 3. I have no idea why that funny guy crashed into e girls photo. Maybe he is/wants to be one of us. =P

In SRC field. No joke leh. We stayed there from 4am till 12pm, waiting for our turn to dance for 5 min. As you see, most of us fell asleeeeep. zzz. but hor, LOL... we are e only group with sleeping dancers. Others are so uptight and kept practising till their turn. Scary obsessed people they all.

And the guys say ouuuuch...

Double ouch...

Melia, me and Virgenia. We are all silver gals... moi being the least of us all.

That's all folks! See u in rag next year =D

-photos are taken from yuanshou's and mamta's web albums. Thank you! Photographers... too many to be mentioned one by one.

Kulinus n Kulinite

2005-08-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

On the 9th August, PINUS (perkumpulan Indonesian students NUS) got an orientation programme for juniors. Kulinus in the morning and Kulinite in the evening.

KULINUS

Seru deh... Chiki chick chicki chick. My group is CHICKI and we won the 'norak-est' group.

Emping. Hahaha... we are all retarded kids at heart =P

Human table soccer

President and vice-p PINUS

Cooperation in doing a big business in the open places. LOL

Water transfer ala Indo. None of the bags reached the finishing line.

The organizers of Kulinus n Kulinite 2005

KULINITE

Senior dance. Wow... We make this dance and rehearse this dance in 1 hr, during the break between kulinus n kulinite. Kudos to Mira n Ratih n Aan for coreographing so super duper fast.

Our dance. Tony ur hand so BIG lar...

Benny n cs. Jadi bu guru...

Mr and Ms Kulinite in action. Hiat... got cambuk lor. muahaha... go go Anggi. She is the catwoman, he is the batman. Together, they are bad cat.

Finally, the foto of those staying untill the end of Kulinite. Minus Johannes, the photographer. Anw, not a bad attendance =)

Sweatshop

2005-08-15T23:50:00.000+08:00

Have u watched charlie n the chocolate factory?
Interesting movie.

How do they call the factory workers? The oombalabas? Oogh, I can't recall. Aren't they small, funny, corny and so exploited by Willy Wonka?

Yup, I think, they are really exploited by Willy Wonka. Okay, the movie is a fiction, even the book is a children story... But, there are blatant similarities to the condition of the world today. The one that concern me most is this apparently 'imported' oombalabas working inside the factory, devoid of any chance to leave the factory.

Well, the oombalabas are told to have a much better life compared to their life in 'jungle'. This is the view of Willy Wonka, or the Western Nations, or the 'super powers' of the world. Come on, they are trapped 24hrs a day, 7 days a week in that factory, working non-stop there, and rewarded only with their favourite food (chocolate). Dirt cheap.
Bleh
The worst part is that the oombalabas are brought all the way from their jungle to this highly sealed factory, somewhere in Switzerland (maybe it's Germany or US, all e same).
Bleh
Oh, but oombalabas, like any other people trapped in poverty and hardships, thought that they are being saved by angels by working in factories.

Any similarity to sweatshop cases?
Since I heard of the term sweatshop in JC1 (4 yrs ago), I was deeeeeeply disturbed by this problem.
Okay, the people in the poor countries need jobs to survive, but, can we all be more humane and try to give workers better working/living condition and higher wage? Goodness... We haven't even considered the moral and social repercussions that can arise from sweatshop. Eg: children running away from home, work there alone in big cities, got cheated by somebody, become sex slaves, imported to other countries as professional sex slaves, infected by aids or take drugs, become drug dealers and becoming bad influence to others.
Bleh

As a pharmacist to be

2005-08-07T15:53:00.000+08:00

Pharmacy Junior-Senior Interaction Camp 05 @ Sentosa n Changi Aloha
11-14th July 05

I had a blast! Very tiring but definitely worth it... ^^
3 days of sea, sand and sun. and mud, and rain, and dust, and stray cats, and police...

The guys had more fun. Of course lar, surrounded by so many sexy pretty girls clad in shorts and skimpy tops, not counting sexy bikinnis and see through t-shirts whenever we got wet (which is often, esp coz day 2 n 3 were raining every a few hours) ^^
Haiz... how come so few guys want to be a pharmacist? Come on guys... being a pharmacist is as challenging as being a doctor, engineer, researcher, businessman, etc. In fact, i think, all around e world, the male pharmacists are more accomplished than e female ones. (eh, i sound against my own sex)...

These are the juniors. so many girls and so few guys. The rough ratio in our school is 9 girls to 1 guy. If the trend continues, ckckck... in no time, pharmacist would be deemed as a profession suited for females only.

Now, look at the lucky guy at e front of e line. One guy surrounded by so many girls.

He's enjoying his sweet time. ^^

Sometimes, I wished that I had that zeal to become an engineer or a lawyer, surrounded by so many guys...
Bleh, no, I am not dying of guys' attention. But yes, I have a point to make...

U see, when there is too few of a sex in a group, they will be deemed as special. I am not sure whether the males are better in being a pharmacist or what... BUT, when I attended the Pharmacy congress from 1-3rd July, it's like... whoa... MALE speakers after male speakers... Whatever happen to e FEMALES?! Are they - e females - trapped in situations of, i need to raise my kids, i cannot act smarter than e males lest they'ld feel insecure, and blabla?!

Back

2005-08-07T15:32:00.000+08:00

Hallllo!!!
Firstly, I want to say thank you to all e concern given by u all, my dearest frens. Yup, I am still under e lasting happiness tho sometimes PMS disturbed my state by a few degree... ^^
Anw, dad has started walking again! Thanks to e wonderful science of physiotherapy.

School is starting tomorrow. I'm so nooooot ready. BUT actually, I have been waiting so eagerly for this sem. Sssssh... dun tell anybody =P

When the going gets teonggg

2005-07-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

It feels great to talk to the Lord Almighty. He is the creator of heaven and earth. He knows and takes care of everything. I shall always rejoice in God.

The past 24 hours has been a very emotional one for me. Dad has been hospitalised since yesterday. Somebody did a grave sin. Mum got a small accident. I pushed myself too hard. Problems in matric fair. Problems in pharmacy. Problems in my timetable. Problems with the new guy. Why? Nothing is smooth...
Yet, I'm very happy because God knows and He'll take care of everything in His ways, in His time.

I want to go home...

Pharm congress

2005-07-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

Friday-sunday, 3 days of pharmacy congress...
Very good lectures by many distinguished local and overseas speakers.
The topics are very2 tough, I was straining my brains throughout e 3 days.
The timing was bad... everyday starts at 9am, ends at 6pm. weekend somemore. I couldn't keep myself awake through most of e morning lectures. Oh, the food is abundant, and nice, coz it's a 5 star hotel food. We had a meal every 2 hours...
Then at night still went dinner and shop for 2 bday pals, walked e dog, cleaned e house, wrote emails, check files, etc. But I survived... :)
Next week would be... exciting...
Thanks to God becoz the cut on my toes and my mouth wall have healed within a few hours (they were very painful). And thanks to God that I am still bouncing in e midst of these madness.

Abt those men that I used to ogle n my weird years

2005-07-02T23:46:00.000+08:00

Today I met two guys that I used to ogle, many, many years ago...

The first one is an acquintance in my old church choir, I was really crazy over him when I was in sec 4. He has a well-built body, good sense of humour, handsome face, brainy brain (nus law graduate), enticing voice.
Before I joined the choir, my frens n I used to go "waaa that guy is singing the psalm in today's mass!" really, his voice is like an angel's. Then, I joined the choir (no, not under the intention to make a move for him). Then, when the local newspaper wrote abt star search finalists, there, i saw his face! And again n again in many sg tv shows, newspapers n magazines thereafter. And I ogle him even more, becoz he become more fashionable after his stardoom got that bit of boost. Anw, I continue ogling him till I left VJC. After that, I always couldn't come for the 9.15am mass which my choir (which oso means his choir) sang in. So, ya, I went to see the conductor and said 'I quit boss'. I haven't seen this guy ever since.

But today in orchard, I bumped to him! He is still as delicious as ever. Oh no, I'm a pervert... hahaha... God's creation is to be admired what...
Anw, identity to be kept a secret, u all who go church with me then, u all know who rite? ^^

The 2nd one is the Thai badminton player which I used to ogle. This one never mind, he's popular anw, Boonsak lor... He is very polite and good mannered. His smile is a killer oso.
When I was in sec 3 n 4, yeni, met, li ling, emily, syl n I were very crazy over badminton. We used to go watch badminton in national stadium together. The competition season was always near our exam time, so we'ld bring our books and try to study there. Yeni, met, li ling n I, if I dun remember wrongly, r e most enthu ones... We make fren with e teams from indo n thai n sing. Boonsak's teacher very fatherly one, so we like talking to him. We even went to their lodging and chatted with them. In mandarin. Boonsak's english not e same wavelength as ours one. hehehe... Everybody in all teams likes yeni, so, we are always welcomed because of her. =P

Anw!!! I saw Boonsak in Giordano Lucky plaza today. I was so elated. I went over to say hi, and he seemed jolted. Why was he shocked? becoz I tapped his shoulder when I callled him. Ah, I should've remember tt Boonsak doesn't touch girls and vice versa one (So traditional rite?!). Then I happily asked, how were your games? (got a badminton competition on now) He said: I lost all. Muahhahaa... damn shock lor... The rest of the team came afterwards to Gio, wa... I missed Boonsak's teacher leh, I really wanted to go over again n say hi to him, but... I forgot his name! so, obviously, cannot lah...

Some glimpse of my weird years and what I did then. ^^ Okay, I'm still living weird years now...
Btw, just for a record, I never had any crush on these 2 guys, just eye candy only.

burned wif pharm pals

2005-06-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

Just spent a wonderful day with e crazy ppl in pharm... We went for 'dry' run for our camp next month. Waaaa damn fun!
Logistic people arrived in sentosa late by 1 hour, omg, i'm so paiseh, all e people waiting in e beach for us to arrive. The reason is very simpleee... we got lost... no, not on out way to sentosa, but on our way buying mcd breakfast in school! MUAHAHA can u believe it?! One year in NUS and we r still lost. At first, we couldn't decide which carpark to park e car, so we went up and down and up and down e hilly nus compound, until we finally parked at raffles hall. Then, we spent ages trying to find our way thru e 'shortcuts' in engine fac.
Anw, e dry run is fun... e people tt participated gave a lot of good comments on how to improve. I think e real camp will be a blast! certainly! our comm very dedicated n onz one....
Yup, we all got very wet... from e sea water, e fountain water, and e rain water. I love playing under e rain!!!
Sad thing is, i still got strains all over my leg muscles and my sprained back still hurts a little, so i couldn't really enjoy myself. BUT... i didn't whine... okay lar, got whine... but i whined to salad only.
Oh at night... i finally saw e popular old changi hospital. Yes very spooky, and i was scared... Went there to find new locations for our fright night. Our PD definitely loves staircases and old houses. Anw, all of us very unprepared... Tonight was e second time we went there. Both times we went at night, both times didn't bring torchlight. Like that cannot see e terrains properly and very dangerous to explore, so in e end, just walk and drive up and down e streets.
Current condition: overeaten, dehydrated, bloated, burned, aching, happy.

Promoting Xenbar...

2005-06-24T00:48:00.000+08:00

Just now was e 1st time I watched a show abt plastic aka cosmetic surgery. So gross... I'm freaked out!!! it's the one in MTV, I think, called 'who do u want to be?' oh man, all e blood and the force in operation... and to think that i wanted to become a surgeon, a cardiac/neuro surgeon somemore.
Anw, gals n guys, let's be happy and content concerning our bods. kay2?

Come to Xenbar and dance Salsa! Every night, 7-9pm.
Oh man... I'm so hooked to dancing salsa... I'm still lousy btw. But, I love salsa!!!
Oh, today got a new ang-moh (male) who came to e class. He's very funny lar. Always screaming, 'so difficult' and demanded e instructors to show him e steps again n again. Maybe he's a tourist. Anw, he was hitting on a group of gals (also coming for their 1st lesson) and vice versa. Disgusting... Well, that guy n gals made e beginner class drag till so long. Thanks heaven becoz they did not stay for e intermediate class. The intermediate class is, again, super fun!
If any of u like watching salsa dance (tt means, u love the dance n u got e 'talent' to salsa), come to Xenbar, e people there r really good in teaching salsa. I think all of us who come n try salsa @ Xenbar can pick up e dance quite fast. Anw, Xenbar is at Chinatown, Singapore (not any other cty), in pagoda street.

Somebody out there, dun give too many hints... I know, but I'm not ready... yet...

2005-06-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Sunday: Happy father's day ^^

2005-06-20T01:00:00.000+08:00

I brought Tom2 for a walk down orchard rd sat night, from 11pm till midnight. He was such an adorable cuty little puny doggie. Strangers had mixed reactions. Some said that they almost stepped on Tom2 and killed him. Some said Tom2 would fly away once he got kicked. Really an enjoyable walk... the pedestrian walk was rather empty, we can avoid Tom2 being stepped on, but the most important thing: a step closer into the making of a braver, more sociable chihuahua.

Anw, the weekend is gone! Haizzzz…
Last week is a terrible week. Late nights, early morning, physical n mental exhortations… didn’t feel like a holiday at all. Wait… it did feel like a holiday… I had abundant time to be a p.i.g. But… it would be better if meetings are never scheduled in the morning, in a far away places, that I need to wake up at 7am. It would also be better if msn meetings are never done late at nights, becoz I’ld always stayed up longer to think over it afterwards. To think abt it again, it would be much better if I'm a rich girl with my own car and the guts to drive it around. ^^
This week is a different story! I only need to go dance pracs and nothing else… at all! ^^ Looking forward to a full p.i.g.g.i.n.g week.

Happy father’s day to all fathers! Btw, I’m still a silly sensitive daddy’s girl. Today, during the mass, I cried while I was praying to God and giving Him thanks over such a wonderful dad that He has given my family and I. Thanks Father in heaven and thanks dad.

Disoriented

2005-06-14T01:24:00.001+08:00

While in Indo, I met up with the girls that I love... my SMP gang… Anw, they all are so adult looking now. So groomed and proper and mature, just so unlike me. I think I have a retarded growth. ^^ Anw, how come Indon gals are getting prettier every time I go home? They are more slim and sexy, both face and body. Argh, I think my appearance very unruly. =( Like this, how to become tai2?!
While in Indo also, I’m so amazed to see how comfortable the life there. Yup, starting to be serious abt my future liao. I’m thinking of setting up a business in Indo by 5 years after I graduate. Anybody want to invest money? Then, I’ll continue my professional career as a pharmacist. Anw, I won’t work as a pharmacist if I don’t know my pharmacy knowledge well (pride). That means, my grades must improve and I must study seriously starting from next sem...
I’m so excited of my idea that I decided to drop all my CCA stuffs next sem and concentrate on learning to become a real pharmacist and a successful entrepreneur. As soon as I got the chance to free up my time a bit last week, I applied to work as a shopkeeper/waitress. I end up working in a Jap resto coz e supervisor is a very nice lady, while others are cold. Also becoz that resto is always bustling with ppl. Anw, I think I’ve learnt everything available to be learnt there. So now, I want another job. However, I really feel bad coz I show no sense of responsibility, tho’ I told them before that I would stop if I don’t find the job suitable.
Anw, I like uniforms. So, I took a pic with Tommy in my ‘babu’ uniform.

And, since my dear karpet putih still misses me a lot in Indo, I’ll put our photo as well.

My sis just pointed out that Karpet putih has a happy and smiling face and Tom2 has a serious face. So, here he is. Karpet putih is smiling at you! and Tom2 giving you his ever snobbish look.

S4LS4 dancing

2005-06-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

I’m dancing salsa! Salsa is fun!
Guys, go and master the art of salsa dancing and bring your girlfriends to any salsa club and entice them with your mastery. Girls, it’s really fun and exciting to be thrown and twisted and turned around by guys who can really do salsa. I’m really addicted to salsa ^^
Anw, am learning this dance because I need it for a performance in August.
I remember when I joined the ballroom dancing group in NUS last year, the experience is totally different. No guys there can lead me during the dance lessons. I felt molested from all the touching and the close proximity to so many new faces, tho’ they are all students. Well, to be fair, maybe there are real good dancers in that group, I just couldn’t stand the situation then that I stopped coming for class and had an ‘allergy’ towards latin ballroom dancing.
When I know that we’ll be doing salsa for this coming performance, I was like “what?! I quit!!!” Luckily, I braved myself to go for this new class. This time around it’s different. The guys are real good, and they teach me a lot also, so that I can correct my salsa.
I’m a terrible partner, I’m a novice… I’ll get better by time ^^. Anw, dancing salsa with a guy novice is also fun. I danced with a couple of guy beginners, in the end, we end up jumping around to catch up with the rest.^^ Anw, that’s the thing with salsa: that, if the guy is not moving, the girl cannot move, coz girl only follows guy.
Anw, parents don’t know that I’m dancing latin again…
Mum doesn’t like that, she said it’s a ‘cheap women’ performance. Esp if I dance with guys… It’s funny that she still brings up her regret about my refusal to go to the expensive ballet classes paid by her when I was in kindergarten. She says that I can be a much better dancer if I have a ballet background (yup, I agree with her). Anw, if I had that ballet background, probably now I’m doing some real stuffs with a professional dance group somewhere not in Singapore. Hehehe… I can imagine how much mum will regret sending me to the ballet classes if this is to happen.
Well, father doesn’t like the idea of me dancing as well. Actually, he doesn’t agree to any kind of activities not related to academic or sports or work.
^^ Shall we salsa?

About this blog

2005-06-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

After some thinking and procrastination, I’ve decided to keep this blog and to continue writing as personal as I think appropriate. In the past, I hated the fact that there’s no freedom of speech (at all), not excluding the www. Well, I realized that I might have hurt the hearts of many and probably will continue doing so. I also realized that I may bring trouble to myself by complaining about some groups or organizations.
No harm is intended, and I’m terribly sorry if I bring any bad impression on anybody (even myself).
That being said… I love you guys, and I love all the organizations that I ever or will join. I complain or nag because I care.

My doggies

2005-06-02T19:24:00.000+08:00

This one is Snoopy aka Nopi aka Ngoki aka Ngong Keng aka Karpet Putih

This one is Tommy aka Tom Tom

And a neighbour in Indo will give me one of his puppies next month. A cross between Maltese and Shi Tzu. She is very cuteeeee ^^ Too bad I didn't bring camera (malu lar) whenever I visit them.

Jakarta, moi coming...

2005-05-19T02:12:00.000+08:00

I'm going back Indo in 14 hours time!
Gosh... I haven't been breathing e Jakarta air since July last year.
I'm so excited!
Heehee... I managed to finish all my preliminary work in all my activities leh! Okay2, I cheated... I delegated some works to other ppl in my comms. Heehee... that's e use of team work! XD
I want to go Korea! Why must more friends ask me to go Korea with them this hols?! I'm not free... I cannot force myself to be free... BUT I want to go Korea!!! Stop tempting me.
-I laugh every mins lately, but that's not because I'm in love; that's because I'm feeling love.

New baby

2005-05-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

My sister just bought a dog today!
Muach2 I love the dog!
He is a male chihuahua, 3.5months old already. A bit worried coz at his age, the house training is more difficult. I babysit him. Name is Tom... maybe Tommy, or tommoka or any other manly name that starts with or contain Tom?

ICy Retreat 7-8May2005

2005-05-12T00:58:00.000+08:00

This retreat is superb! Thanks to God and to everybody who has make it as meaningful as it is.
I'll probably write a summary soon, coz I learnt so much that I don't want to forget any of them.

2005-05-12T00:57:00.000+08:00

when u put 5 talkative girls inside a room, we bond! Hehe...

My modules this semester

2005-04-30T23:02:00.000+08:00

Pharmacy Practice
Dispensing labs are so so exciting! I prepared 3 medications every week during the 3 hour durations of running here n there, of weighing repeatedly and thinking hard not to overlook anything, becoz a careless mistake means zero for the practical. Anybody with any cough or flu or anything but too poor to buy medicine? Maybe u can be my quinea pig, I have all e active ingredients in the lab to prepare e drug.
Lectures are fun-but-boring. I never didn't fall asleep during the 2-2hrs weekly lectures by the oh-so-funny Prof Ho and the oh-even-funnier Dr Lita Chew (she is Indonesian).
Exam is disastrous. 40mcqs and 8 essays in 2 hours. Man, I didn't even think or blink. Just chiongggg... but, all e same, still never did 2 essay qns properly.

Physiology 2
Lectures are very fun and intense. Most of the time it's: frown frown, what's he talking? oh i know! write super fast while trying to frown frown at his next sentence. And a female lecturer for reproductive system. I was so shocked then that I kept saying to my frens, how can a female be so successful in physio dept. -femisnist me-. But the lectures are so early that I skipped some, came in late for many and fell asleep in most. Typical manifestations of my lack of self-control.
Tutorials are crazily intense. I was an object of laughters once when I referred to "venous end" as the "end of the vessels".
Exam is unexpected. Lucky I didn't spot questions coz it's really unexpected...

Fundamentals of Biochemistry
The most boring module on earth!
Typical lecture spent: observing others n e lecturers n catch e much needed sleep before continuing e hectic day.
Exam is a 60 mcqs in a 2 hours open book exam. Initially, I was so complacent that I didn't really study. But waaa... in e exam hall, after doing e 1st few questions -they are very dificult- I went zoom2 chop2 for e rest of e questions, flipping thru e lecture notes n textbook like a real nerd. Lucky, really lucky that it is an open book exam.
Btw, I saw so many seniors from VJC in e exam hall, they are engin students yr 2 n 3 taking e same module like me, an innocent yr 1. Hehe... anw, so glad to see them.

Chemicals n Us
This module is super hard but super easy.
I learnt many manufacturing steps of many chemicals and the effluent/energy managements. Since this is an USP module, the tutorials are super easy, we discuss about problems and how they affect us -talk crap-. However, really, the tutorials make us think more completely. And for that, I dun really mind that my head was tortured to memorize and understand so many chemical processes. I dun even think chem eng yr 1s study as much as we did in terms of the breadth.
Anw, we got to go to wonderful field trips to Pzifer n APC breweries (the tiger beer et al producer)
Exam is disastrous. 7 essays. 2 questions contain never-heard-before terms: diatomeous earth and containment strategy. But of course, being a typical USP student, I crapped like nuts and am pretty satisfied with my 2 page each answer.

Civility in the world city
This is THE writing module. The ultimate time-consuming module.
One thing I found funny is that, my earlier drafts for my 2 last papers (from total of 3 papers) are better than my final versions. Know this from the Professor in charge. It means that the usual 20 hours each that I spent to finalise my papers are not-worth-it per se. But still, I learn so much and I am now more confident than my old-self in terms of writing and thinking creatively (it's the goal of the module). Having a super talented writer/thinker like my mum n older bro in e family suppressed my confidence no more.
Anw, the classmates are wonderful! 9 people only. A great class to be missed dearly.
Anw, Prof always says: we train all of u to be scholars, we r not expecting u to write/think like a scholar yet, but since u r in USP, u r a future scholar. Hekssss... I love USP modules, but dun remind me constantly that I'm in that position of striving to be the future scholar. The responsibility is still too big for me to comprehend.
Exam is: of course no exam! Writing/thinking is not a process that can be done properly in exam setting.

New Product Development
A technopreneurship module, I'm the only yr 1 in that strong 60+ class. Scary. Anw, the lectures are so slack n fun coz we are taught by many guest speakers from many industries, most are technopreneurs. And the main lecturer is the millioner Neo Kok Beng. He always boasts about his products mostly are successful and bring him loads of money.
Anw, in this module, I am stuck in a team of 5, consist of e slackest guy, e most stubborn guy, e most imaginative guy, e most easy-going and fast guy and e pretty fusta. Man, we are the slackest team I've ever seen. But we still delivered result (tho one commented: fus' standard is very low -I'll prove that I'm kindhearted instead of having a poor standard-). Always do work last min by spending many hours in last few days of report submissions -because we need the adrenaline rush near the dateline to really do the assignments-.
Exam is an open-book exam on a complete new product development. I'll be the newcomer to compete with an existing "FIREFLY" a RC plane that has LED and body like a kite but fly like a pro-RC plane. Any suggestion on the model of the new product to compete with this?

My love style?

2005-04-17T22:13:00.000+08:00

Your Love Style is Pragma

You believe love is logical - or at least it should be

You've thought a lot about what you want from someone

And to say you have a checklist would be an understatement

You may even have a plan for how you will fall in love

All you've got to do is meet the perfect person!

What's Your Love Style?

Oh no... how true is this?!

Happiness when things are messed up

2005-04-17T01:21:00.000+08:00

I'm just so confusedddddd... I have a plan to go to an island and do something which I have always wanted to do this coming May. But, my parents never really agree to it. And, they are more stressed as the day is coming near, as I am still adamant about going. No, it's a "was" not a "am". So, what happen is, I am pressurised by their unhappiness and I have decided to change my decision of going. And now, I feel like a child not capable of thinking and making decision of my own.
Same things always happen to me, whenever I decide on something BIG, I am never allowed to do so by my parents. Sure, they say "meme, u may go ur way, if tt's what u really want". But, they sleep less, pray more, and mum even falls sick whenever I go adamant in a way tt makes her unhappy.
Luckily, these things don't happen that often. In fact, the most recent BIG case that I can recall, is their unhappiness in my decision to be a doctor. Actually, I'ld never know whether I'ld still choose to study med if I do not love them so much and choose to obey them to lift all e pressures off their shoulders.
Man, this is called generation gap at it's biggest...
I never see any rationale behind their reasonings. And no matter what I said or did to prove myself, they always win the arguments. ALWAYS. The argument that always go straight to pierce my heart is this "meme, u don't live for urself, u must think about us, about our feelings". That sentence ALWAYS rings in my mind and governs all that I do. I wonder whether my 'secret weapon' brings e same effect to them, it goes like this "mum, dad, I know it doesn't make sense to u now, but can u think my comment over for a day or two, and see whether it will change ur mind? coz, seriously, it will make me happier". Apparently, no, it doesn't work...
Haiz... any of u know of a good 'secret weapon' to win our parents favour?
Hix... hix... current mood: dissapointed but also happy and thankful for such loving n caring mum n dad.

Eye contact/stare

2005-04-13T03:03:00.000+08:00

Eye contact is indeed important.
Without it, one can lose e audience's attention. Like what I did yesterday, zero rehearsal + no background info + no eye contact + 3 hours sleep for each of e 3 previous nights + some nerve = a blunder. so humiliating. Yucks.

Everybody knows how important eye contact is. I tried talking to a fren while closing my eyes yesterday, and he was insulted, I think, so I quickly open my tired and exhausted eyes again.

Anw, do u realize how harmful an eye stare can be, if given to e wrong spots?
I have some frens whose eyes go around my body while talking to me. U know e feeling? It's like, harlow... stop looking there! $##!!@! Anw, ya, not only frens, but also some strangers. huhu... they make me so not convident. (apalagi kalo liatnya udah lama bgt, ke bagian resleting celana jeans lah, ke daerah bandul kalung n dada lah, ke gigi gw lah, ke mana2 but my eyes)

N e bad thing is, I'm currently very deprived of sleep, so, I'm kinda sensitif, so, what I did was ask them :'what are u looking at by the way?' or 'stop staring there please' or a loud 'Harlow plus hand waving to block e path from e eyes to my body', ya, I think tt's all I did.
I don't like to offend people, especially those who don't dare to maintain eye contact therefore their eyes tend to wonder off, they dun have bad intention, but, by 'asking' them to stop, I think it's kind of pointing at them and saying "stop looking u pervert!".

I realize some guys r plain perverted admirer, so, I just run away as far and as fast as I can. But, with some guys, n also e females, I really dunno what else to do or say, except those tt I mentioned above. It's a real pain to continue the conversation I am having with these ppl. Should I just do the same thing -staring at their body- next time? If people feels how uncomfortable it is to be stared at, they won't continue doing it to others. Hopefully.

Meanwhile, all u starers, hush2... I dun need the extra attention now.

hermit

2005-04-09T15:43:00.000+08:00

Crazy lar... I think all my tummy muscles have deteriorated to lumps of fats. I never exercise for so long. Now, every morning, I wake up to a muscle ache in tummy area, something which I felt before only after intense sit-ups. I thought that was because I always eat loads of food past midnight (becoz stomach can sleep even tho we r still awake). But, it's not. Yesterday, I 'starved' myself by eating jambus only as my supper at 9pm. This morning still got e same tummy ache. The ache never lasted more than 30 seconds I think, but still, disgusting fats... Kay lar, shall not starve myself anymore. I'll bear with e fats till 3rd may. =P Come fats, I shall not hate u for now.

Peace ppl! I'm very scared to see so many people getting angrier becoz of exams n projects stress. Hiii... Rilex everybody... Actually, I can understand why these people are so angry. There are many uncooperative systems n people; in the midst of datelines n stuffs to do, ya, it's easy to complain n shoot angry words. Hopefully I won't kena anybody's anger.

Hehehe... so happy to have so many of u, my frens, saying that I'm a 'happy' girl. Really appreciate tt. Esp when some of u say tt I've brighten ur day. XD
Thank you! U all have brighten my day as well!
Actually, I'm not a 'nice' girl lar... I'm just trying to be 'nice'. Hehehe

Anw, let's all be joyful n merciful and always try to have a postive outlook in live.

Btw, while I want to type e title, hermit comes to mind. I'm a hermit since dayssss ago and shall remain one till dayssss later! I only go out from NUS for church n meetings. Moi = NUS-mit.

Keeping a smiling face

2005-04-06T17:21:00.000+08:00

I will continue smiling and laughing altough I cannot sleep as much as I wish; my eyes are fixed to computer/paper; and my brain is in a constant exhortion.

2 project reports + 2 presentations + an essay due next friday. final exams start next next friday.

Most of my pharmacy frens had their last lesson yesterday. Then, off they go to their rooms/libraries to mug for final exams. Then, they ask about my schedule, i.e. whether I still have lessons and how much I've revised for final exams. All of them were in a shock when I told them that I'll start revising on the 15th May. They said they won't survive if they r in my position. I cannot see my future survival as well. hahaha...

As much as I love doing projects and writing essays which really demand a lot of focus, brain power, research and God's help, I am worried to predict my future exam results. The grading is done by statistical adjustments, so, if lots of people study like nuts and I don't study as much as they are, I may end up getting a "C" even if I got 80% of the answers correct. How scary is that?! Yeah, fusta, i welcome u to the only faculty filled with all "A"s only students (even some medicine students enter the fac with 3"B"s)

I am the ONLY crazy person in pharmacy who's doing work for USP modules and technopreneurship module and never ever take my pharmacy core modules seriously. I am such a DISFUNCTIONAL pharmacy student.

Am I jealous of other pharmacy students?! Oh no! I shouldn't be. I am the one who choose this path, so, I shall walk straight and brace the future with a smiling face.

The sun shines, the birds sing (and fusta smiles) because this day is made by God for us to rejoice and be glad.

A deep loss

2005-04-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

I remember when father Erbin talked about you years ago.
It makes me realise how great a man you are.
It makes me proud to have you as our Pope.
Thank you dear father and good bye.
Please continue praying for us while you are in heaven.

Behind a name

2005-04-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

After so many promptings I finally went online to look for the meaning of my name 'fusta'.
Mum got my name from a russian drama where the third daughter of a family impressed her a lot, thus I am named after this fictional character.
Then, years ago, my bahasa Indonesia teacher told me that 'fusta' means 'getek' or a raft. Yeah, great, so funny. Hi, I am raft!
So, I went online and... trala... fusta also means wood and skirt among other things (cannot remember). All not interesting.
Then, I got the inspiration to check whether there's any saint with my name. (I chose two other names as my baptisimal and confirmation names. Felicia-strong n brave. Fabiola-selfless and openned hospitals/hospices)
Yeah... as I predicted, there's no saint with the name 'fusta'. But! St.Faustina's life story really impressed me. Faustina-fusta... related lar ya. Tralala... I have another role model.
-I would act in such a way that everyone who came in contact with me would go away joyful-
Here's the summary of her life and what she did.

The history of Singapore’s pig farm

2005-03-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

True story peps.

Many many years ago Singapore saw that she needs to choose either chicken or pig farm to stay in this small island. Chicken are difficult to rear because of the many illnesses that can attack them. Pigs are not economical for this island because they produce way way too much shits. So a lot of smart peps were consulted to solve the problem.

They found out that the reason why pigs shit that much is because they have poor digestion system. It is so poor that most of the feed passed out as shit is not digested properly, i.e. still got many nutritious values.

So, they decided that they will recycle the feed, by feeding the pigs with their own shit! So, they build stacks of pig sties (sg is so good in thinking vertical rite?! HDB flats…).
Yup! So they build a sty on top of another sty for many layers (dunno how many layers, the man who told us this story, did not reveal all). Thus, the pigs on the highest level eat the fresh feed. The second-highest level pigs eat the shit of the pigs in the highest level. And so on. So, in the end, they managed to cut the total shit mass to 1/5 of the original shit mass! Yey a solution!

But, luckily… the minister in charge was wise enough to feel disgusted about eating pigs that eat the shit of the shit of the shit of other pigs. So, we are safe! Yes, that's why we only have chicken farms in Singpare. Let’s just hope that we don’t import pigs from pig farms that recycle pig’s shit as pig’s feed.

irritating encounter

2005-03-23T22:29:00.000+08:00

Can a stranger irritates you so much that u need to know that person in person and thus lessen ur irritation?

There's this one handsome guy who is one of the house managers in one of the performing theaters in SG. First impression: such a snob. 2nd impression: so amah... so meticulous about this and that... then today, on our 3rd encounter: so irritating!!!

Ya, he blamed and scolded his inferiors in front of guests... which is bad! why not brief them properly beforehand?! and can he not contain his anger until at least the show ends?! a fool to behave so unprofessionally.
And, he asked the guests to leave all the flower bouquets outside (with e flower girl) who writes down the "to" and "from" on a piece of flimsy, unsecured paper. Reason: for e saftey of e performers: ya right... as if we cannot hide the bombs inside our school bags and can hide them inside our tiny puny little bouquets.

So, I have sinned a lot by being irritated with this guy and cursing him since 3 hours ago. Please forgive me David, and forgive me Lord. All the same... irritating!!!

I spent so much time decorating the flowers lor... and they were lost just like that... no news nothing... uuurggggh!!!

anyways, congrats to Melia and her stunning dance performance tonight (which I didn't watch, because I was 30 mins too early for the show and not 1 hours too early, as the result, no more seat man... hahaha... our fault to underestimate the kiasuness of people living in SG)

Friends are precious

2005-03-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

Dear friends... thank you!!!

Friends are just so precious
Friends know what's in our mind
Friends do crazy things for us
Friends say 'keep smiling' to brighten our days
Friends share jokes and laments
Friends point the wrongs
Friends are always there

-when something desired is not given, one will want it even more-

I'm down with sore throat + dry cough + fever + headache! My last illness was when I got sudden food poisoning during my stint in Hyatt, around march 04. haiz... ya, so that's my record: 1 year without falling sick was ended yesterday. Stupid virus... go away... hush2...

On a lighter note... aaa! another busy week ahead

Academic nerds

2005-03-16T13:53:00.000+08:00

Quotes...
Prof Simo: If asphalt is made from shorter carbon chains, our roads would just evaporate after some time.
Prof Seow: A tear drop can kill a bucket of bacteria

me

2005-03-15T09:12:00.000+08:00

Marlin n I. Don't we look absolutely happy?! Because we are perpetually happy I guess... Long live piscessians! hehehe...

Cooking

2005-03-13T18:36:00.000+08:00

Fusta has a new hobby...
I love cooking! waaa... cooking is so exciting...
Here's what I cooked for dinner today...

Syalalala... anybody having a party? I'ld be more than willing to be the chef! :D

I'm gonna boast now

2005-03-12T23:55:00.000+08:00

Happy friday because God allows me to serve Him and remember Him throughout the day.

I'm definitely so happy nowadays! The clear short term goals make me so hyper. Though I am worried about my progress towards achieving these goals. My... I only gave myself 30 days for one goal (yeah, 28 days left) and till the end of this year for the other goal. Thinking again... eitz... I should've set more than 2 goals for this year. Maybe I'll do that.

Anw, got compliments which I dun think I deserve. My writing instructor said that I can work in the writing centre in 2 years time (writing centre is the place in nus where students-scholars go to seek help from seniors in their writing process). It's a BIG compliment leh! I am never ever confident with my writing! Wait... I've adopted a positive outlook in life, so lemme rephrase that. I never like writing. Hahahaha... but I love her-the instructor for telling me that. What a boost of morale. So many compliments and still the compliments are ongoing. I'm thinking whether it's just her tactic to make me work harder or maybe a good fren put a love potion to her food that makes her like me so much nowadays... hehehe.

Meanwhile... my study needs more work! aicks! huhuhu... I dun want to learn biochem... huhuhu

Plan your life early

2005-03-09T14:11:00.000+08:00

Event+Response=Outcome
Let's control our response and not have a negative outcome anymore! :D

Goals-->Strategies-->Action-->Result-->Success/Feedback
Fus is committed to achieve fus' goals...

Aaah... no wonder a key is often chosen to be e gift for somebody's 21st bday.
Monday... heard many disturbing facts and experienced many annoying attitudes. Well, I chose to repond internally negatively. As the result, I got nauseatic feeling so bad I almost vomitted. Lucky it didn't last long, because e world is big enough that there are many wonderful people to be called true comforts.
Anyways, so I started to think about future etc and the thinking was spiced up by so many advices and wishes for my 'adult life' that I got on my bday.
Now, I have a life plan!!! I wrote down all my goals till 2040. The goals cover everything... I guess... career, business, family, relationship, finance, health, personal development, n lifestyle. Try it, it's very exciting... Be specific and find strategies to achieve the goals and do massive actions! (Adam Khoo influences me)
Just a statistic... Years years ago, a survey was done on a batch of Yale fresh graduates... 3% had a specific career plan, and 10 years later, their combined income is more than 3x the combined income of the other 97% Yale graduates. What?! Wow... let's plan as well...
Let me share my career goals (other goals are too private to be disclosed here): A health minister or an overall administrator for all public hospitals in a country by 2025. Member of the board of directors for all public hospitals and some private ones by 2030.
:)

I'm 21

2005-03-06T16:43:00.000+08:00

I'm 21! I'm super happy n am very thankful to God for His love unto me and each one of us. Anyways... my 21st bday is very memorable! Thank you to all my dearest frens! aaa... I'm still bery happy :P
Firstly, let's start with my family: 21st bday is e bday on which e children would get e weirdest present (coz it is very special). so, i got a 24k gold miniature rat (coz gold last forever). Lucky my siblings are around when dad bought me e presents, so, they managed to psycho him to buy other presents (include: a super nice gems necklace). They are all so sweet yesterday! I love my family!
And, let's continue with my nus-indon gals group (Lydia, Tessie, Melia, Linsey, Virgenia, Gracia n Marlin). Simply love them! They got me a singing-dogs bday card. so, e card sings 'happy birthday' in guk guk guk guk. hahaha. so cute... then, got special buttons also, so that i can play them like a mini organ (indon: pianika). The present-bag is superb. And e cake is deliciousssss.
And, e ICy ppl. They (Benny, Michael + Ivan) created a new bday song for me... so sweet rite! N 2 superly deliciousty bottles of white wine (Melanie, Mike, Marie, Selvi n Jonas). Melanie brought 2 wine glasses some more, for e bday gals to do e cheers (Marlin's bday is today, mine yesterday).
And, Anes! who came to say happy bday! aaa! I missed her loads coz lately never talked already, but time went by so fast yesterday i didn't get to talk much to her. :(
And, Ivan, ahahaha... a pooh bear! I was shocked... :)
And, siska whose bday card has wishes as sweet as e person. though she was busy yesterday and we couldn't meet up.
And, my dearest angel who planned a surprise bday party on the midnight but cancelled it coz I've seeked refuge in a fren's house.
And, e most pleasant surprise came from my pharmacy frens who did a super nice and touching power point presentation + made a silver bracelet with a key and a plate bearing my name. They even tracked my old frens to ask them to put down their bday messages in tt presentation. Aaa! I love all of them! (esp: Sarah, Mandy, Joyce n GuoPing)
And, all e wonderful frens who wish me happy bday personally or through sms or phone calls. Got many unexpected calls some more, sharks, I should try to remember theirs as well.
And, everybody who has remembered tt it was my birthday on e 5th March. Thank you peps!
-fusta trying to become an adult-

Happy

2005-03-03T00:57:00.000+08:00

I haven't come here for so long... awww.. but there r so many things happening these past few days...

I'm so happy! still high from overwork and overload and God's overblessings.

sunday to tuesday had been a madness, quite irritating but a very exciting period.

sunday: worked on unfinished essay on lens analysis on world city n did project report. Madness coz I was depriving myself from sleep again. Irritating coz it's a sunday and I was working! exciting coz it's a new experience lar... having to work on a 20% final grade project just 1 day before the dateline, together with other slackers in my group. hehehe.

monday: draft conference is a new thing. I wrote a lot of comments for my friend in that conference. Not bad lar... 2 full A4 pages of small, tiny handwriting in that intense 1 hour. After that a heavy headache from lack of glucose and intense concentration. Exciting day coz while other groups (in technopreneurship class)handed in their reports just before their presentation, we handed in ours 30 mins after the class ended at 9pm, some of us skipped e presentation of other groups to finish the report. lucky so many ppl stayed back to talk to e lecturer, thus we were able to slot the reports stealthily to e stack. hehehe. irritating night coz the fire alarm broke off in my block while I was sleepily copying info to a help sheet for my next day mid term exam.

tuesday. madness... i woke up at 9.10am when e rest of ppl in my practical group was already doing their practical in e dispensing lab. Lucky that I have such a helpful bench mate who let me copy her notes n i finished formulating 3 drugs before the time was up. exciting: well, i'm gonna say this... the questions in my mid term exam afterwards were definitely exciting! they r all case study based. irritating becoz I didn't really wake up for the whole day. I could really feel the weight of my head.

wed: madness... spent so much on taxi. My fault, I always volunteer to do this and that when I see some 'lobang' in my schedule. end up running here and there again. irritating coz of an angry friend. exciting coz I've voiced my worries to my sis the previous night and was recharged to try to adopt this new attitude.

The most important thing is... I'm feeling happy :D
maybe becoz of wonderful companions and blessings from God!

Keep being reminded of the better side of a person whom i adore. trying hard not to be obsessed.

My dentist said that my teeth are not glued together. She's lying... they are definitely glued lor... when I push one, the other one moves with it. Haiz...

I need cheap personalised T-shirts suppliers and nice satay and otah2 suppliers. Aaaa... kalo di Indo pasti gampang bgt yg namanya nyari koneksi buat bikin ini itu.

Feeling molested again from guys who anyhow touch my shoulder n hand. Argh! Am I not fierce enough to them?!

It's a mid term break!

2005-02-23T01:13:00.000+08:00

Huehehehe! Mid term break is on now... But I'm working my ass off as hard as ever. Nvm...

Friday
Attended the Catholic Awareness Week Rally in NUS. My joyful tears flowed non-stop for 1 hour. Anyways, I dun mean to talk about religion here. I'm just so amazed at myself, at how easily my tears flow.
After that the Indon Movie screening, still in NUS, and... I forgot to donate money! Not a big deal lar actually, but I came, then, it's only proper that I gave some money, the purpose of the screening is to raise fund anyways.

Saturday
Went to Sentosa with the Indon Catholics in NUS to catch the Sentosa Flower exhibition. Those flowers are so pretty!

And we were so lucky becoz Sentosa decided to showcase the fabulous fireworks to end the musical. Have you catched the new musical? It was the second time I watched it, and I still went ga-ga over KIKI-the sentosa -not so new- monkey.

Sunday
Shopping and sleeping. Loads of Pizza and the delicious drumlets for my supper, which last forever. I haven't been doing that for so long... lying down for 3 hours on the couch at home with a good movie to watch and a big supply of junk food.

Monday
Made friend with an elderly woman who said this : I like you, you are so cute!. Hahahaha... tell that to my mum who always says that I look like a mess, like a village girl uncapable of grooming herself.
I finally watched Constantine. How long was the wait? wow... Anyways, ya, a good movie!
Project meeting from 6-10pm. the start of the torture...
A new decision from OSA + e bosses in my pharmacy soc, so I revamped everything in a flash mode. And this tedious work made me stay awake till 4am. Luckily, the delicious Black Forest which I drank during my project meeting kept my head alert.

Tuesday
I did nothing for the whole morning but waited for a file that was supposed to be sent by 12 midnight on Monday. Argh... can't believe myself. I must learn to be patient and flexible.
Did some surveys in the city area. I met lots of interesting people. Like an expensive looking freelancer who doesn't own a camera phone or a digicam but are very chatty etc, and an expat who wants to move permanently to SG and thus I promoted SG even more, like a true blue singaporean. hehehe. People in Orchard are so not-nice! So I passed the remaining blank surveys to my partner and went back to NUS.
I stayed in the library and did my work! hehehe! Though they were all due last Sat in the school's ivle, it's better late than never.

Wednesday
Looking forward to my first visit to see the elderlies whom my group adopts for 1 year. We'll be making glutinous rice balls and then accompany them sing karaoke. Our duty is to make sure that they understand their medications and take the drugs regularly.

Die hard

2005-02-17T21:40:00.000+08:00

Hehehe... while others wear the rubber bracelets to support cancer patients (Livestrong-yellow) or breast cancer patients (pink), I'm wearing the black one (diehard), which I just found out today that it exists, and I was like: WOW! I'm definitely wearing this! The reason is actually so simple and shallow that I am quite 'malu' to say, but let's be honest... I want to survive and be brave and face everything with the clearest mind and soul.
Hahaha... see... I'm sort of wearing the band to support myself, not others, so, this reason itself is shallow. But, when others see this band on my wrist, esp those who r stressed n down, hopefully, they'll cheer up and face this world with a new, braver attitude.
Oh, on why I want to survive n be brave etc... Just watched hotel rwanda yesterday, coz I was so fed up with an overload of work (I was at the point of giving up you see... I was so bored of my workload that I chose not to care anymore). I am deeply impressed by Paul, the hotel manager. He is really brave, quick-witted, loves his family (yet allows momentary indulgence by crying-so, he's still a human after all), and he never say die! Die hard man! we all must struggle and never give up!

My 1st field trip in NUS

2005-02-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

I'll kill myself if I ever succumb to this foolishness again. I drank 7 mugs of beers today afternoon. Now, my body is full of toxins. Yucksss...
We went for a field trip today to the breweries. And we just drank and drank in the tavern, coz the beers taste nicer there, and they r free, and the guide was telling us the various tips of drinking, so we must keep drinking to try out the tips then and there right? And we had 3 drunk girls-who couldn't walk or talk normally and looked absolutely red! Drunk NUS undergrads who got drunk right under the nose of their lecturer and while we were having an intense formal field trip. Haha! I think I was a bit drunk as well, never experience that before, so I didn't know whether it is or not. Anyways, I felt light-headed and I couldn't stand still: I swayed, so I just kept moving my feet, so that I appeared 'normal'.

On Vday:
I love God, my family and just everybody worth loving... that means, everybody! well.. I'm trying only lar... hehehe...
Happy!
Sebel jg sih... Vday kemarin, dari jam 8-2pm kelas, then 6-9pm kelas. untung in between ada vday 'date' ama wonderful company: 2 men and a woman. Yg nyebelin sih, pada speculate kalo ada this particular guy who will ask me out or maybe give a bouqet or whatever, tapi, gak tuh... not even a Happy Vday or happy friendship day greeting, tho we met for quite a while yesterday. Kan harga diriku agak2 terbanting. hahaha... sekali2 jadi sgt childish enak jg lor.

Civility

2005-02-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

Have any of you approach a stranger (in Singapore) and ask them to be more civil to another stranger?
I've often saw old women and men struggling not to fall down whilst they are travelling in the MRT here, because, the trains are almost always full, and those who sit down pretend not to see them. I never do anything to help these elderlies, other than giving 'powerless' eye signals to those who are seated. But, yesterday, I saw a lady handled this situation well. She just came into my train. When she saw the old lady, she promptly approached a woman and ask her to give the seat up. She merely said these words: (paraphrased from mandarin), "can u give up ur seat to that old auntie over there? she looks very fragile and so pitiable." I was like, wow! I'ld definitely try that line next time.

New resolutions

2005-02-12T00:47:00.000+08:00

1. To love God and everybody more
2. To always be positive
3. To be happy and never lament unless for a real bad news
4. To be less extreme

On the 2nd day of CNY

2005-02-12T00:28:00.000+08:00

Indon gathering at Tessie's house! Hahaha! A truly enjoyable time! We should all do it more often :)

Then a delicious dinner at sakura in downtown east. Good food! A really good buffet for $26 only! But, maybe just for those who love sashimi and jap food and raw oysters and mussels, somebody like me. Look at this 'superman' baby lobster. superman coz e two legs will spread apart widely if we lift it up by the antennae. they are my new fave food now. slurps!

I'm becoming more cheena

2005-02-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

Now I know the name of my dialect group in English! thanks to a friend who's so into chinese studies in his history module. My dialect group is: HOCK-CHIA. Huehehehe... It was a headache to tell others what group I am from, coz parents always have so many names for it, but none is comprehensible for those not in my dialect group.Well, probably HockChia still doesn't mean anything to most ppl. Nvm.

Happy CNY!
a wonderful reunion dinner away from home last night. My whole family decided to spent this year CNY in Singapore, away from our relatives... Mum ended up saying over and over again today that next year we-the children must go home (Indo) for CNY, coz she feel miserable with no close relatives here. Hehehehe... I kinda love it though... all the greetings were done over the phone (though sometimes we must really shout, coz the older ones are kinda 'deaf', ooops) and no endless cake and mandarin orange to be eaten throughout the day today. Though I still eat tens of those oranges today. Good food are not to be missed. Learnt quick mandarin again (coz must know how to reply and give greetings). Some laughed at my awkward phrases. Bweek, like I care. A good CNY indeed. And the weirdest that I have. At 12pm, we went to a canal to release frogs! That's a tradition that we never bother to do before, but, since this year we are so free, yar, so my mum decides to release animals, and the frogs happenned to be readily available in the pasar yesterday. (actually my mum bought golden tortoises, but upon hearing my sis n my concern abt e safety of the domesticated tortoises in the wild, she changed e animals, and we shall raise e tortoises instead)

Depression

2005-02-03T22:04:00.000+08:00

Actually am very busy with works now...
I've posted in the forum of my wirting module about how much I dreaded the module.
Now, I'm really a gone case, now, the prof may think that I'm such a whiner who cannot take that extra load of work.
The fact is, yes! I'm so sick with everything this semester. I'm whiniiiiing...
I wish I am somewhere else. Doing nothing but reading a fiction in my bed, under my comfortable comforter, with my dog on my tighs, an ice milo and a ruffles and scoops of pistachio almond ice cream from swensens on a desk beside my bed. I just want to escape from this daily routine which is getting suckier and more unpredictable by more workload be it academic or not.
I want to be home.
Yes2... I'm undergoing a mild depression.
Hopefully, after spending the day on saturday with my family I'll get over this unscatched.

2 weeks to V day

2005-01-31T22:45:00.000+08:00

Today is e 31st Jan... 14 days to the V days.
My single girlfriends n I was planning our unattached-girl only V day dinner.
Sounds pathetic huh.
Observing the trend on how my guy friends lament day in and out about their no-girlfriend status, and their inertia to actually make the effort to at least 'go after' a potential girl... Well, you know, sad case. Why don't guys be braver...
Mine is a sadder case, I'm nice to everybody. My bro said that I must be extra nice to the guy that I like, so that he dares to make the 1st move. The problem is, I'm REALLY nice to everybody. Then, how to be extra nice??? Prepare a cake for his supper? Buy chiongsam for his mum? Cook dinner for his family? Please, no right?! (my bro said, yes, something to that extent!)Faint lor... anyways, I'm craping here. I'm just so sad that so many of us good attractive sexy young women are not taken yet by good boyfriends. What's wrong with their brain?! Okay2, I may not be good attractive or sexy, but my friends definitely are. But then again, maybe males are just so intimidated by independent, sexy, attractive, smart females and they tend to stop at the stage of admiring/ogling only. If so,then, guys, you've chosen to let those girls be taken by other braver guys. Sad sad case.
I definitely envy steven's gf, though he smokes and his clothes stink (and I presume his mouth, read:kiss, stinks more).He's so confident and proud of his gf. That's how a young man should behave. =)

sleep what a comfort

2005-01-30T22:26:00.000+08:00

my sleeping time this weekend...
saturday 3am till 2pm saturday (coz I was famished and I need to go for dinner).
saturday 9pm till 2am sunday.
sunday 3am (coz I haven't washed my face from e make-up and haven't brushed my teeth) till 9am sunday.

A long wait to the conference

2005-01-30T22:08:00.000+08:00

Adoyyy…
I’m very confused lar… Thesis, motifs, analyze, infer, close reading, stitching, book-ending, stance, blah blah blah…
I’m born lousy in language though my mum always was the winner in whatever poetry or composition competitions during her schooling years. And she still speaks so intelligently that others ask her often to be mediator and to settle a deal.
Tomorrow is a one to one conference with my teacher in creative writing and thinking. What am I supposed to say in that 20 min?! Sorry prof, can u put in simpler terms on how to improve my draft for this paper?
Be positive! Be positive! I must have inherited something abt language from mum! I can be a good critical writer/thinker! Yes! Yes!

Bazaar

2005-01-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

We - finance subcomm of NUS** earned around S$3K in our 3 days health fair cum bazaar which just ended on Friday. Wooohoo! So happy! Basically becoz e fund raising drive had ended. And we’ve surpassed the senior batch in terms of the money earned!

But… but… that almighty sister of mine… instead of letting me be happy for a day or two, straight after hearing the sum of money we earned (on Friday night), ruthlessly, she said that the amount is too little! Her bazaars have always earned around $100-200 per vendor, which means more than $5K! She blamed our inexperience and lack of contact and erm… what else… oh, our no-commitment. Blah…

Despite our inadequacies in my sis’ eyes… I really learnt a lot in this bazaar and really thankful for the support shown by many! Mmmmuach!

Thanks to: Seniors who are not in the committee but are willing to stay overnight/way into the night in school. Also, seniors who taught me in the how to organize and recruit manpower, and also the (un)cooperating president who taught me a lot in the how to deal with a (difficult) boss. (He's actually a kind looking guy, maybe he behaves better when he's not behaving as the president). My fellow comm members who skipped many lectures and tutorials so that the bazaar can run smoothly. And… fellow pharm students who are cheerfully carrying out their duties for the event.

So the things I learnt are…

Always smile no matter what. I survived the worst incident on Thursday afternoon when the seniors are all away and I faced the angry manager alone. Thanks to my coffee making skill and my undying smile and positive attitude, he and his 2 rich looking female subordinates eventually left with a thank you. Huehehehe

No use to force unwilling hands to work. It’s better to tell them plainly the situation, and let them decide. Save energy by not bothering ourselves with their attitude. I know how to answer effectively: just say… It doesn’t matter (nonchalantly). Ooops, oh well, maybe it is a hard sentence, but, some people just think that they are so important and we can’t do without them. Blah…

Always be cheerful, especially when faced with a group of tired friends. It’s good to always be positive and cheerful even when one doesn’t feel energized.

To end it all… What a way to start the year…

Missed a step

2005-01-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

Fell down twice today...
1st fall: 10am, was running to lecture after 2 hours running in the forum, opening the pharmacy bazaar for e day. Didn't drink/eat anything coz too busy and I didn't realize also till I saw the Milo in a vending machine! Low glucose is bad... No breakfast doesn't work for me.
2nd fall: 9pm, was alighting from bus. I was in a daze... so sleepy after the bus ride (although it's a 5 min ride). I was sweeping the road with my arms, lucky I can dance a bit, so, only bleed a bit. Low glucose is bad... Half sleeping is worse.

Braces:
That orthodontist of mine... She said I must try chewing on soft food. But, till today, still unsuccessful, so I still blend rice meals and swallow my noodles. Guessed that I'm gonna be malnourished if this continue. However, not bad lar, 8 days into e treatment... one year minus 8 days into the end of e treatment.

Tomorrow:
Kinda sad coz not all my frens come to the health fair cum bazaar. Tmr is e last day... so, I'm hoping that they all will come tomorrow, if not, I'll be 'angry' with them lor... Okay... I'm a demanding friend.
Getting back my essay tomorrow. terrified, excited, curious.
I must discuss about Bhopal accident in tmr's tutorial. Dun even know that this term exist. Must do research tonight. I want my sleep...

I will jump into e water n swim

2005-01-20T18:34:00.000+08:00

Keluh kesah anak krg tidur yg giginya sakit

Hix hix... kawat gigi kok gak nyaman sekali sih. Kemaren malem pas cuci muka baru ketahuan betapa sakitnya, ampe air mataku jatuh bergelimangan. Trus setelah nelpon lydia yg orthodontistnya sama, trus lyd bilang, emang sakit fus, setiap kali abis diadjust. Hua... gw langsung nangis beneran, masa gw satu tahun harus menderita seperti ini... jelek bgt lagi! kalo ngomong harus buka mulut lebar2 n articulate exaggerately, kalo enggak, pada cengok, gak ngerti gw kumur2 ngomongin apaan. Udah gitu, kawat jelek ini membuat gw gak bisa makan segala macem. Saking sebelnya, gw makan jg yg enak2, tapi langsung ditelen. My poor stomach. Tiap kali gigiku kesenggol, rasanya air mata udah di brink of meledak dr dam. Cengeng nian aku ini... udah, mesti tahan! Hiattttt!

Trus komplain2 gak jelas lagi...
Lagi ngurusin pharmacy bazaar di NUS. ehehehe seru sih seru, tapi...
gw in charge of manpower. mati gak sih?! itu kan plg berabe. udah sedari dahulu kala mengapproach yr 1s n anak2 senior untuk ngejaga stall2 pas bazaar. Masalahnya tuh, ketua kita ogah bgt dlm ngasih ijin non-pharmacy students tuk ngejaga stall. he got his reasons lah. tapi, fus kan jd pusing... byk slots yg bisa dateng tuh cmn bbrp anak. then, krn across 4 levels, semua anak pharmacy pas jam2 tertentu ada core module, alias everybody got lesson for tt particular hours, jadinya kita harus bolos lesson untuk ngejagain stalls. Nah, anak2 pharmacy yg 'reguler', mana mau coba disuruh bolos? Makanya seperti yg udah diprediksikan, yg ngejaga 40 stalls for tt hours cmn ard 10 of us yg di main comm, kan gawat. Eh, itu senior2 geblek malah dgn excitednya cerita how in past years mereka jg begitu. Lari2 dr satu stall ke stall yg lain, krn satu org bisa mengcover ard 6 stalls. ehehehe... seru kali yah... i shall wait n see.

Trus, dgn gebleknya, writing module gw yg super duper challenging itu udah harus submit 1st draft by monday. This module intimidates me! Beneran deh... gak sukaaaaa. But i must try. ok, i must jump into e water n believe tt i can swim!

Trus, fus masih stuck di kamar di pgp, blm dinner, lunch ku fruit juice yg byk sekali,krn makanan kantin sekolah keras2 besides e fishball noodles n other noodles, tapi i dun feel like eating noodles anywmore.

Oh, trus anak2 ICy lelet2 iiiih... gimana sih, sebel deh pokoke... sebel keleletannya, bukan sebel org2nya. Abisnya, masalah2 kecil dari dulu ampe sekarang gak beres2. Puyeng ah. Pada main oper tugas pas akhir2 pula, termasuk gw (abisnya dilempar tugas baru, ya, kulempar lagi loh ke org lain, beneran gak sanggup handle what... mari melempar2... ehehehe)

Kelas writing itu bener2 intimidating. Today's one is worse, gw kira hari ini no writing class, eh, untung kemaren malem buka email, jd tahu hr ini sebenarnya ada kelas. Jadi lgsg speed reading articles2 yg geblek2 susahnya n panjang2 gak keruan for today's discussion lor.

oh, dari mulai sekolah minggu kemaren, ampe today, gw gak pernah makan 4 kali sehari lagi (semester lalu makan 4 big meals, kalo gak, ya laper lah), then, tidurnya gak pernah 7 jam lagi (some days itu 1 jam, 3 jam, etc), then, lunchnya sering bgt cmn pao n bread yg kadang2 dibeliin temen yg ke kantin, kalo gak ada yg bantu beli, lunchnye tuh cmn milo kalengan yg kugrab dr vending machine on my way from class to class/meeting, then, gw masih belom finish unpacking, then, gw belom pernah baca my lecture notes selain pas lecturernya ngasih lecture pas hari itu. textbooksnya terbengkalai semua lagi, padahal byk yg interseting. then, anak2 pharmacy yg geblek2 rajinnya itu mulai lagi marahin gw, fusta belajar... ih, kirain gw gak mau apa?! mana lagi interesting lagi most of the things tt i learn in e core modules.

despite all this, gw masih survive deh kayaknya. masih bisa ngejoke n ketawa2. masih looking forward to mondays.
oh, and thank God karena mamaku 2 hari lalu tiba2 terinspirasi tuk dateng singapore. seengaknya gw gak akan lose weight this weekend. =)

Holes on my mouth

2005-01-15T17:05:00.000+08:00

3 days to go to a new fusta....
A fusta with a metal smile.
I'm gonna have my braces on Wednesday.
Badly wanted them since 2 years ago, but never got it, becoz I didn't know whether I can stay long enough in this country to finish the treatment.
Yey!!!

I'm now an old-woman with missing teeth. Hahahaha...
My father's 1st comment when he called me one hour after my teeth were extracted:
What?! But u r going to US for exchange next year! U cannot have the braces now... (then I tell him that I'm not with braces yet) Oh, then good, don't put on the braces until u come back from US... (but dad, I got glaring 'holes' in my mouth) It's okay, it's never a good idea to dentist-hope for braces, so let's do it after u come back... (dad, okay2... I'm not going next year! I'm going on my third year. I cannot go around with this kind of teeth right?!)
Hehehehe... my dad and his idea of practicality and his no-idea of beauty.

The dental treatment is disgustingly expensive.

Indulgence

2005-01-15T16:54:00.000+08:00

I'm indulging myself in this bad habit again... I'm reminiscing about the past again. Not that the present is boring, but the past contains so many sweet memories that will never happen again, as I grow out from the past.

One day during the dec vacation, when I'm bored of normal holiday activities, I went down to my old hostels; Not really going to the hostels; But rather, walking from the bus stops to the hostels, walking along the canals, looking at the beautiful dogs and beautiful ang-moh babies, etc. How serene.

And now, a few minutes before I go to Victoria concert hall for KE7 play... I am recalling the past again. When was the last time I went there? 3years ago? However, the Esplenade halls are definitely better in many sense.

My limited vision

2005-01-15T16:30:00.000+08:00

I'm persistently 'high' nowadays.

But my dearest Dr.Ryan... She 'scolded' me on thursday as such: Fusta.... open ur eyes... observe... i waved to u that day... u gave me a blank look... happily chatting away with ur friend... i dun care if u flunk my module... i won't help u a bit...
Hehehehe... How will I feel if I were scolded in the 1st lesson for arriving late (no, i got solid reason!) and were scolded like the above scenario on the 2nd lesson?
I almost die from blood rushing to my head! Hahahaha... I was damn red then. From humiliation, but mostly from laughing so hard. Anyways, ya, she's right, I should notice what's going on in my surrounding.
So, if I ever act snobbish, please dun take it to the heart. It's just me and my limited vision. Hahahaha, okay2... I've promised myself that I'll try to improve.

Just a blabber

2005-01-10T22:37:00.000+08:00

7am: I was supposed to be awake already.
8am: Woke up. The alarm somehow didn't ring. I wonder why. Late for my lecture.
breakfast... bathed... went georgie's mart, some catching up with fren, okay, I skipped e lecture in the end.
10am: already in my pharmacy practise lecture. The new lecturer is very funny! Will have a great time doing this module this sem. But, many ppl dozed off... too tired I presume. Heard that Physiology is still as 'sucky' as ever, glad that I didn't come to the lecture then =P
12pm: a very fastttt lunch
12.05pm: I'm late for my lecture in another faculty. Wow, the prof is very meticulous with lateness. I've already told her: that under normal circumstances, in no way I can arrive there on time. I wonder how to be less disruptive to the class then.
2pm: Another lecture on Chinese culture. Very interesting! The prof is Prof Ni. A very capable man, I believe. Tried to interprete ancient Chinese drawings etc. We always got it wrong. The only way to get it correct, is by looking at the other painters works ard that time, learn some history, then analyse... till we get e 'intended' meaning. Not what we think. But what the painter tried to convey. And the intended meanings are so deliciously intelligent. Love it!
4pm: A bit of uncertainty. What do I want, what can I do. The thing is, now the module bidding exercise is still on, and I really think I should take one more module. Went bidding, but in the end, couldn't find one that is still available and strikes me as an 'good' module.
-so many people choose a module just to meet our university requirement. They think, the simpler, the better. No need to 'always' go lectures/tutorials, just bang on the exams. And well, there are lots of modules here conducted like that, yes, sad. But maybe, it works better than other kind of teaching. Well, I'm so GLAD that I'm not under any such requirement-
5pm: Bumped into a senior. Went to dinner with him. And BOOM! He told me abt this super interesting module on technopreneurship, no need prerequisite! I am so excited... So I crashed into his lecture.
6pm: Lecture starts. How come the lecturer keept stressing on class participation, when there's no exchange of ideas going on? It was all his talk; the teacher assistant talked a fair bit also. The rest, we only said a few things to answer his questions. Which is no-class-participation right?! Anyways, maybe becoz all of us are new.
7pm: Tea break. I'm hooked with this module. Approached the prof to tell him abt me crashing in, and my intention to join. Made a call to tell fren tt I'm so sorry to suddenly cancelled the meeting.
8pm: I'm even more excited. But... I heard a girl said: this module is boring and she may be withdrawing. Harlows, at least, we gotta do some real "new product development". Oh well, maybe she had done lots of it.
10pm: Back in my beloved PGP room. So many calls, so many msn, a fren in my room, gonna explode anytime soon.
11pm: I'm okay... though a bit hungry. Oreo, fruit juice and an apple. I'm always such a p*g.

Something serious to laugh about

2005-01-05T01:21:00.000+08:00

Read on your own risk

January 2005. Now is the time to make THE decision!
So shall I do medicine or continue and be content with pharmacy?
This entry will be my reminder that I’ve considered my options to my best, given all the best information that I can get and supported by a calm emotion and a wise head.

I will be a pharmacist if God allows me. I will not choose or dream to be a doctor unless God forbids me.

Why med doesn’t suit me:
-I am not sure of my calling – career
-I have too many philosophies about how a doctor must behave
-I am not willing to toil in school for another 11 years before I can call myself a professional
-I am not willing to let my children – if I’ll have any – grow with a busy mother by their side
-My ideals will bring me far from home
-I love my family too much to let them worry about me

Why pharmacy suits me:
-I am not sure of my calling – I can be a clinical pharmacist, a researcher, an MOH officer, a health board officer, a lazy/hardworking owner of a small/big pharmacy(ies), a marketing exec for a pharmaceutical company, an attached pharmacist to a drug factory, a socialite/reserved housewife, …
-I can choose my lifestyle, without being pressured (by myself)
-My loved ones will not suffer from a lack of me
-I will not suffer from a lack of those I love
-As a pharm undergraduate, I get to learn stuffs that I like (in moderate amounts =P) now and in the future
-It's an easy path, with 99.99% chance of reaching my goals

Special thanks to everyone who has helped me in this long yet short period of questioning. Mum n dad, my sis n bros, my dear friends, my new pharmacy friends, my beloved seniors, my not-so-beloved seniors, teachers n doctors, my competitors, and those that kept bugging me for an answer (these heartless people forced me to reach this decision asap, and thankfully I’ve decided now)

e phone calls

2005-01-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

2 phone calls: from school and from sbs office. My lost transitlink card was found. I was so ashamed! How can the card slipped out from my bag?!

"emergency" call from home: mum n bro went home (jkt). i'm "home" alone now. I wish that i'm "allowed" to go back and that my other bro n sis are not that busy.

sms from a dear fren: she's coming on my busiest weekend this month --> What a terrible timing, but maybe I can ask somebody to cover for me while I accompany her for a meal or something. Staying in my house --> Good! she can use my empty room while I stay in hostel, then I won't feel bad from abandoning her for most of the time. 4 persons coming with her --> What?! well, yeah, I do have 2 empty queen beds, but...

to bazaar clients: he'll call u back. not around. etc. Please shop owners, I need to tell my "head" whatever goods u are sending over and how much they are.

Feeling empty

2004-12-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

That terrible earthquakes and tsunamies came in this fextive season.
When all were colourful and happy and thankful.

This disaster seems far yet close to my heart.
I don't particularly know anybody who escaped from or washed by the tsunamies.
I don't have friends or relatives whom were trapped in collapsed buildings during the earthquakes.
I don't recognise any sad face shown non-stop in the tv.
The point is, this disaster, is just another big, horrible disaster.

But, I am very disturbed.
I feel my thoughts becoming more laden with more news that I received, read or watched.

I feel more detached from the happy crowds, those who still enjoy their holiday.
Seriously, please stay away from me.
I know this is the season to be happy and all,
especially becoz new year is coming, so take everything positively and end this year well, also, start the new year well.
At least, I did that for every year until this year.

I couldn't help it.
So many friends came from Sumut and India.
And I know, that even though they are sound and safe, their families and dear ones may not be.
Even when they are safe, my countrymen died! My fellow world citizens died!
And a worse scenario if someday in the future, someone told me that so and so died
...

Well, my feeling is certainly not that important.
Not as important as a feeling of a young mother who lost all her children
or of an old man aho lost all his relatives.

So, I cannot grieve and cry, even when I want to
as my feeling is not strong enough to cause me to weep bitterly (even when no tears are dropped).
However, it is so strong that it has caused me to get this half-depression.

Exactly in time like this, I wished that I am a doctor, a nurse, a paramedic, anybody who helps in the 1st aid or to handle the oncoming epidemics. Also, a politician, a governer, anybody who can deploy the mass to help in the damage control and the process of helping those who survived to get on with life.
Just anybody who can help in ways other than giving money and praying. (I'm not even giving my own money, it has always been my parents')
Not a student who's enjoying her holiday and doing nothing significant.

Exam results

2004-12-26T14:09:00.000+08:00

Hee... Not tt I intend to make this blog very student-like.
My 1st sem result.
Much better than expected.
Not up tp my standard though.

Merry Christmas

2004-12-26T14:03:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas!
So happy to be reminded again that God loves each and everyone of us so so so much... hohoho... Merry Christmas!

The summary of my trip

2004-12-22T13:54:00.000+08:00

The blog entries for today summarize my trip to some cities in Swiss and Italy recently...
I think they are a bit messy, so dun get a headache seeing them.

Zurich

2004-12-22T13:51:00.000+08:00

The first stop in Switzerland is the Rhinefalls, which is a really pretty sight. However, I was pretty shocked to see that there’s nobody else in this tourist attraction, but the 30 people in my tour group. Even the restaurants and the souvenir shops were closed. Maybe because it was winter.

Black forest

2004-12-22T13:46:00.000+08:00

By bus, we went to the Black forest region in Germany. It is where Hans n Gretel lived, and where the witches were burned (I think).
Lake Titisee is beautiful, the cuckoo clocks are amazing, the Christmas market is very bright, and the black forest cake (made with strong alcohol) makes me high.

Lake Titisee (my sis)

The maker of cuckoo clocks

Xmas market

Lucerne

2004-12-22T03:38:00.000+08:00

Back in Swiss (Lucerne) at night, we went for a bit of sightseeing.

The chapel bridge (full of many surprises like painted roof and an altar for Virgin Mary) connects two churches across the river.

Bern

2004-12-22T03:35:00.000+08:00

No jet lag, which is wonderful! We then went to Bern (the capital of Swiss), many types of scenery along the way. Some are perfectly white from the fresh snow from the previous night.

2004-12-22T03:33:00.000+08:00

Bern means bear, and there is a historical bear pit where 3 bears are kept.

Some important buildings are located in this city.

Interlaken

2004-12-22T03:24:00.000+08:00

we went to Interlaken, a quiet town with friendly people and nice drivers.

2004-12-22T03:22:00.000+08:00

A trip to Jungfraujoch (ard 4000m above sea level) by train is very memorable.

2004-12-22T03:20:00.000+08:00

The white Alps, some are yellow from sunlight brings a surge of peace and awe for the almighty Lord.

2004-12-22T03:12:00.000+08:00

Me and my propensity to play with snow like a 5-year old.

2004-12-22T03:11:00.000+08:00

At night, my sis and I attended a mass at a local church and it was conducted in Italian. I understand the homily and the readings. Yeah! Quite amazed at how adapt humans are in communicating.